Mom's The Best
by jugglequeen
Summary: Margaret Scully has always been one of my favorite characters. Since we have to face season 11 without her, I felt the urge to write about Mama Scully and start this collection of stand-alone ficlets.
1. PEPPERMINT TEA

**PEPPERMINT TEA**

When she opened the door and saw her daughter standing at her doorstep with a duffel bag in hand, Margaret Scully instantly knew what had happened.

"Come in, honey," she said softly, taking the bag from her and putting it down in the hallway.

She maneuvered her into the living room, made her sit on the couch and looked at her. She was a picture of misery. Her eyes were empty and sad, her mascara smeared from crying. Her shoulders were slouched and her hands rested powerlessly in her lap.

"Tea?" Margaret asked and received a slight, almost invisible nod from her daughter.

She went into the kitchen, filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove, her heart heavy in her chest. How much more did her baby have to go through? How much more could she take until she finally broke? She blinked away the tears welling up in her eyes and shook her head. 'Margaret Scully, pull yourself together,' she told herself. 'Dana needs you to be her rock right now, so don't you dare to fall apart in front of her!'

She was grateful when her contemplations were eventually interrupted by the whistling of the tea kettle. She took two mugs out of the cabinet, put a tea bag in each one, filled them with boiling water and returned to the living room where her daughter hadn't moved an inch.

"Here you go, Dana sweetheart. It's peppermint. I always made you peppermint tea when you were troubled as a kid, remember?"

"Thank you, mom," Dana replied in a powerless voice.

Margaret watched her daughter closely. She'd caused her a lot of sleepless nights and many, many hours of worry. Ever since she'd decided to leave the straight career path of a medical doctor to join the FBI. Since then, she'd given her mother multiple reasons to be anxious or even scared for her. Her abduction, her cancer, her barrenness, her fatally ill daughter, her lost son, her being wanted for aiding and abetting a convicted murderer; and the list wasn't even complete. Not to mention the constant danger she'd put herself in being out in the field chasing psychopaths, killers, and all kinds of monsters. Margaret knew how to deal with that kind of omnipresent, subliminal fear most of the time though, having been a Navy wife for most of her life. But still, the many hospital bedside visits she'd paid her daughter over the years had taken their toll on her, and every time she'd received a phone call from one Fox Mulder she'd braced herself for the worst.

She'd never questioned Dana's decision, though. Unlike her husband, with whom she'd had countless arguments about it, always defending their daughter. 'She's old enough to make her own decisions, Ahab,' she'd told him, or 'When has Dana ever been unreasonable or inconsiderate?' She'd been inconsolable that her husband had died before he'd been able to acknowledge to himself how proud he'd actually been of his younger daughter, his Starbuck.

She'd also defended Dana in front of her oldest son Bill, who never quit blaming his sister for blindly following a man who'd dedicated his life to chasing 'little green men' as he always called it. Margaret knew better. She knew Dana wasn't blind but loyal, and in love. She loved not only the man but also his work which had become hers as well. She admired their passion and the solidity of their partnership. Together they'd sailed through the worst storms. Storms so horrendous, any other couple would've perished in them. But Fox and Dana, or Mulder and Scully as they called each other, had survived what life had been throwing them in their faces. Always. Together.

Until now.

Margaret didn't have to ask her daughter why she was here. She knew but wanted her to tell her anyway, "what happened, sweetheart?" She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear like she'd done when she was little.

Tears started welling up in Dana's eyes, rolling down her cheeks when she closed them. She threw her head back and inhaled deeply. With her eyes still closed, she whispered, "I left him, mom." Her eyes fluttered open hearing what she'd just said. She put her hands on her mouth, stifling a hiccup. It seemed that hearing herself say it made the scope of the moment sink in eventually. "I really left him," she said once more almost unbelieving, her voice uninflected and barren of any vigor whatsoever.

"Oh, Dana, I'm so sorry!"

Maggie Scully put her tea mug down and placed herself next to her daughter. She engaged her in a tight, motherly embrace. She rocked her like a little girl and stroked her hair, and it didn't take long until Dana couldn't keep up her composure any longer. She broke down and cried in her mother's arms, violently and bitterly. Now that the dam had broken, the release of the accumulated tension caused her body to shake with every sob that escaped her chest.

"My poor baby," Maggie tried to soothe her, "Shhh, everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. You'll see." She knew she sounded like an escapist teller of fairy tales, but mothers were supposed to make their children believe that everything, even the worst situation could be straightened out.

It took quite a while until the crying stopped and Dana recomposed herself. Maggie handed her a box of tissues and looked at her as she pulled one tissue out after another to wipe her swollen nose and dab her puffy eyes. She lifted Dana's chin with her index finger and looked at her.

"Better?"

Dana nodded. "Uh huh." She blew her nose - one time, two times, three times - then threw her mother an embarrassed look. "I can't believe I'm sitting here crying like a baby in my mother's arms. As if I were a teenager who's lovesick for the first time. I'm not being very mature."

"Heartbreak always hurts like hell, Dana, no matter how old you are. I'm your mother, if not in my arms, in whose would you want to cry instead?"

"Oh, mom, I know I've been a disappointment, and I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain. I'm almost fifty, and I'm still worrying you. All I ever wanted was to make dad and you proud of me."

"What makes you think you haven't made us proud, sweetheart?"

Dana chuckled bitterly. "Ahab didn't approve my career choice. He wanted me to go down the path Daniel offered me. If I had stayed with him, had continued working with him, I might've been the chief physician of the cardiology ward of a well-known hospital by now."

"Daniel wasn't the right man for you, Dana. He took advantage of you. Of your youth, and your enthusiasm. He loved being admired by you and was pleased with his role as your mentor. Leaving him and wanting to stand on your own two feet was the right thing to do. He needed you more than you needed him, and he knew it."

"I destroyed his marriage."

"No, he did that himself. Don't you dare take the responsibility for him cheating on his wife."

"Can you honestly say you're proud of me, mom?"

"I am very proud of you."

"What about? What have I accomplished? Tell me!"

Dana's trembling voice and agitated gestures showed Maggie how much this was bothering her. And she'd just started her self-flagellation.

"Nothing! Not in my career, nor in my private life! I was once dishonorably discharged from the FBI, returned to the medical field as an assistant physician at a local hospital, doing my residency at an age others are chief physicians. And when it comes to marriage and family…nothing either. I lived with a man sans God's blessing, had an out-of-wedlock child, gave it up, and wasn't able to save the relationship with the love of my life. I'd call that a complete failure in every part of my life!"

"Stop it, Dana, right now!" Maggie was angry about her daughter being so hard on herself, so unrelenting and rigid. "You're being ridiculous underestimating yourself like that! Do you really believe you are a failure to me?"

"Then tell me what I have succeeded in, mom! Just one thing!"

"Honey, there are so many things! You can be proud of yourself for how you've been fighting your way through every spoke life threw in your wheel. About how you put your life on the line in your constant effort to make the world a safer place. About how you stood by a man disregarding your own well-being. You work until you collapse to cure these poor children, taking double shifts and emergency on-call services more often than any other doctor at your hospital. I couldn't be any prouder of you than I actually am. You're a lovely, kind person I'm very proud of!"

"Do you really think Ahab would share your opinion? Bill sure doesn't. He's always thought that I made a mistake following Mulder."

"Bill has only been scared for you, Dana. He's your older brother, the male head of the family after we lost your father. He felt it was his job to keep his protecting hand over you as your father would've done had he still been around. He couldn't cope with seeing his baby sister in a hospital bed in a coma, barely breathing after having been kidnapped and only shortly thereafter in another hospital bed dying of cancer. He needed someone to blame, and since Mulder blamed himself already, he became his perfect scapegoat. It was easier for Bill to say that it was all Mulder's fault than to acknowledge the fact that his little sister had made choices he had to accept and live with."

"My choices have cost you a daughter, mom, and a grandson," Dana whispered, her voice breaking in the end.

"Dana Katherine, look at me!" Maggie rarely used her daughter's middle name, only when she wanted to have her full attention. She cupped her face with her soft, warm hands and stroked the tears off Dana's cheeks with her thumbs. "I lost Melissa and I lost William, that's true, but it wasn't your fault. None of this was your fault, and I never blamed you for any of it. I don't know why fate has been so cruel to us, but nothing happens without a reason. Maybe our family has to take all this for a greater cause, maybe this is part of a divine plan, I don't know, but I want you to stop thinking it was you who put things in motion."

"But if I hadn't stuck with Mulder, if I had quit at some point…He told me to quit several times, mom. He knew this wouldn't end well. He'd surrendered to his fate but he wanted me to escape it. God, I was so stubborn. I didn't want him to tell me what to do, I wanted to be that self-assured woman who made the choices herself."

Dana's dismissive tone of voice when talking about herself hit Maggie to the core. "You stayed because you felt responsible, because you knew your work was important. And because you loved him. You loved him more than you loved yourself."

"But now I'm sitting here empty-handed. I'm a lonely woman without her child. That's where my choices have gotten me. If I had stayed with Daniel, or Ethan, or Jack, I could be living a normal life now, with a husband, children, a house."

"Oh, come on, Dana, you know that what you're doing is fruitless. What-if questions never get you anywhere. And seriously, none of the three men you just named were your perfect other. Daniel bathed himself in your admiration, Ethan cared more for his career than for you, and Jack was unreliable and reckless, certainly not the responsible family man type."

"Mulder is reckless too, and unreliable. He darted off following hot leads without telling me, let alone talking them through with me so often I could write an encyclopedia about it."

"But he never took advantage of you, never put his own interests ahead of yours. Ever."

Maggie knew she was right. Mulder would've given his life for Dana, he still would. Like Dana would for Mulder. Their relationship was based on unconditional devotion and infinite selflessness. None of her daughter's previous relationships had been anywhere near what she had with her child's father.

"Have some tea, dear. I put lots of honey in," Maggie said, handing her the mug which sat on the coffee table still untouched. When her daughter had been little, the sweeter the tea, the more it had soothed her. Dana also seemed to remember, because a short, small smile flashed over her face.

"Thank you, mom." Dana took a few sips and one could see that the sweet, warm liquid running down her throat into her stomach calmed her a little. "Can I stay for a couple of days? Until I find a place of my own?"

"I hope that's a rhetorical question because if it wasn't, I'd be angry with you. Of course, you can stay! You can stay as long as you want to. As long as you need to. I am here for you, sweetheart."

Dana stared at her mother, her usually bright blue eyes two dark pools now, brimming over with tears. She wasn't saying anything further, she didn't have to. Mother and daughter embraced each other fiercely, and Maggie thanked the Lord silently that he'd led Dana to her doorstep on this day in her search for comfort. Her daughter had a tendency to fight her demons alone in her reluctance to ask others for help.

"I'm so glad you came, Dana," Maggie breathed into her red hair. "I'm your mother, and I love you. No matter where you are on your life path, no matter whether you're happy or sad, successful or broke, healthy or sick, I'm here for you. Don't you ever forget that."

Dana didn't answer her mother but with a heartbreaking hiccup.

* * *

After Dana had settled into her old room, she took a long shower and reappeared in the kitchen in comfortable clothes, some sweat pants and a sweater which unmistakably was one of Mulder's. The hem reached down to her upper thighs and she had to roll the sleeves up. She looked like a little girl in that huge sweater.

"That bad?" Maggie asked when their eyes met.

"I took it out of the hamper when I left. It smells like him," Dana said and inhaled deeply. "Call me crazy, but it soothes me."

"I'm not calling you anything, I know how difficult this is for you. Care to tell me what happened? We haven't really spoken much in the past few months. I noticed that something was not right between Fox and you but I didn't want to inquire. I just hoped you'd confide in me one day and let me help you. But now I have the feeling there isn't so much I can do anymore."

"It's over, mom. I tried. I tried so hard, but he…" Dana trailed off. She turned away from her mother and Maggie could literally see the wall building itself up. Stone after stone adding to a soon insurmountable barrier between them. She had to intervene quickly before Dana retreated completely into her ivory tower again.

"Look at me, Dana! He what? Tell me!"

Dana froze at her mother's commanding tone of voice, she didn't turn around to look at her though, neither did she give any indication she'd be answering her.

"Don't you dare close off from me, Dana! I want you to talk to me!" the older woman urged. "Get if off your chest, sweetheart. I know you're not someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, but goddammit, Dana, you're not losing face, and certainly not to me, admitting you can't handle a situation alone. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not of weakness."

Dana had gasped at her mother's cuss. Being the deeply religious woman she was, the name of the Lord never came across her lips in a blaspheming remark, at least not that Dana had ever heard. "He wouldn't let me save him," she finally whispered, her back still turned toward her mother.

Maggie inhaled deeply in relief and let the air flow out of her chest silently. She'd managed to reach out to her daughter, to stop that wall from shutting her out. Dana had taken a first tentative step, and Maggie was determined to make her walk all the way. She closed the physical gap between them and folded her arms around her daughter's shoulders from behind. She felt the tension inside the tiny trembling body. She couldn't see the tears welling up in Dana's eyes, but she noticed how she fiercely brushed them away with the back of her hand.

After she'd steadied her voice, Dana resumed talking. "I saved him hundreds of times from the most perilous situations. I found him in the most hidden places. Every time he followed a lead on his own, he relied on me to track him down and save him. This time, he doesn't want to be saved. He retreated to a place he knows I can't follow him."

"How long has this been going on?" Maggie asked, turning her daughter around and cupping her face tenderly with both hands.

"It started when we were on the run. The unhealthy mix of our daily fear of being detected, his feeling of guilt for having made me run with him, the lack of social interaction, and," Dana paused and swallowed, "the loss of William." She disentangled herself from her mother, walked over to the couch and placed herself on the same spot where she'd been sitting earlier. The tea mugs were still on the coffee table and Dana stared at them.

"Can I have some more tea, mom?"

"Sure, dear."

Maggie knew Dana needed time. She had time. More than enough to wait for her daughter to confide in her with everything that made her heart heavy. So she went into the kitchen, placed the kettle on the stove again, pulled another two peppermint tea bags out of the box, and put a teaspoon of honey in each mug. While the water was heating up, her thoughts went back to the moment Dana had told her about her pregnancy. Mulder was missing and Dana was so stricken with worry for him that most of the time she wasn't able to enjoy her condition.

Maggie had been hard on the Lord in her inner dialogues with him, asking him why he begrudged her baby even the littlest of joys, how he could be so cruel as to fulfill her biggest wish and take away the person most important to her at the same time. Maggie was so angry at him that she'd skipped Sunday mass for several months. Margaret Scully, who'd never missed Sunday mass without a solid reason, had stayed at home because she'd been afraid she might break down in church because of the injustice of it all. She'd only begun to forgive him when Dana had placed her beautiful newborn son in her arms with a smile so bright it made everyone forget the agony of the past. Mulder had still been there, beaming with pride at his son and with love at Dana. None of them had known at the time that those few days would be the only ones they would be truly happy.

Just a few blissful days together with her son and the man she loved, that was all life had offered her daughter. And now she was sitting in her living room once again desperately unhappy. What had that poor woman done wrong that some force in this universe thought she deserved this? Maggie gritted her teeth and almost didn't hear the kettle whistling. She poured the water into the waiting mugs, put them on a little tray together with some oatmeal cookies Dana had liked as a kid and joined her daughter on the couch again.

"Here's your tea. Careful, it's still hot," Maggie said handing Dana a mug of the steaming liquid. The scent of peppermint wafted through the room when both mother and daughter blew on their tea to cool them down.

"Cookie?" Maggie asked. "You always liked them with your tea when you were little. They made you feel better."

Dana shook her head no. "They might have helped me to deal with a bad grade or a bruise, mom, but my problems are much bigger now than the ones I had as a little girl, a cookie won't make them go away."

"Probably not, but it will make you feel better for a moment, and that's something. Here." Maggie held the plate with the cookies out to Dana and looked at her until she sighed and finally took one. She nibbled a tiny bit off of it, then put it back on the table next to the tea mug.

"William's absence was slowly eating him up," Dana eventually resumed their conversation and Maggie prepared herself to hear a sad story. "At first, we were enough for each other. I mean, we'd both yearned to be together so badly for so long and finally, we had each other for good. It was so soothing to know the other would still be there the next day, and the day after, and thereafter. We lived like a married couple, it didn't matter to me that we had to change our names and looks every other month or that we weren't able to stay at the same place for more than a few days. I was so happy to have him near. He was all I had after…"

'After William was lost,' Maggie finished the sentence silently. Dana had never spoken of the time they'd been fugitives. It had been a very difficult time for Maggie as well, being left in the dark about where they were, whether they were well or how they coped with their situation. Knowing they were together had calmed her a bit, but she'd missed her daughter terribly. She'd already lost one daughter, losing another seemed too much for her to deal with.

"And then?" Maggie said to keep the conversation from coming to a standstill.

"And then…" Dana sighed. "My hopes were high that when we were taken off the wanted list and moved into our house we could have a normal life. I hoped that being freed from the pressure to hide would enable him to fight his depressive tendencies. They were still mild at the time. It was treatable, would have been curable. But I underestimated his stubbornness and his will power to punish himself."

"Why would Fox want to punish himself?"

"In his eyes, he failed all the people dear to him. He failed his sister. He failed his son. And I know he never stopped thinking he failed me. His quest remained incomplete. He dedicated so much of his life to searching for the truth, but never found it. At least, not the kind of truth he'd hoped to find."

"Poor man," Maggie said.

"If we had been able to keep William, if he'd been allowed to be his father, he might've…"

"He might've what?"

"He might've deemed it worthy to fight. For his son. For his family. He doesn't deem it worthy to fight just for us. For…me."

"Nonsense! You know that Fox loves you from the bottom of his heart, Dana."

"Maybe he does, but there's also this feeling of alienation at the bottom of his heart for the woman who gave up his son. I know he doesn't want to blame me, and he has never uttered the words, but I've read it in his eyes."

"I can't quite believe this, Dana. Fox knows how much you loved William, that you would've given your right arm if it had let you keep him."

"Well, mom, let's be honest for a moment, okay?^ The day I returned from the adoption agency, you also hated me for having taken your grandson from you, didn't you?"

"Are you out of your mind? I never hated you, Dana, my heart was breaking for you!"

"But when I came to you to tell you that I was going to give him up, you said it would be the mistake of my life," Dana hiccuped.

Maggie remembered the day as if it had been yesterday. Dana had stood in front of her door just like today, with puffy eyes and a red from being continually wiped nose. She'd come to get support and solace from her, wanting her mother to tell her she was doing the one and only right thing to protect William. And maybe the adoption had indeed been the right thing to do, but Maggie with her first-hand experience had known that a mother never recovers from the loss of a child. She even conjectured that living with the consequences of lacerating the maternal bond through one's own decision could be somehow even more difficult than having your daughter taken away from you by a murderer with a gun.

"I asked you to come with me to the agency, to help me hand him over, and you said that you couldn't be a part of this, that you wouldn't help me give my son away. You said a child belonged to their mother no matter what and that I was wrong to believe someone else could protect him better than I could. I had come for support, all you gave me was dissuasion."

"I know, and I regret that now."

Dana had been furious with her, the angry words she'd spat out were ringing in Maggie's ears up to this very day. Her daughter had shouted, "aren't mothers supposed to console their daughters? To back them up in any kind of crisis?" She'd never forget how Dana's eyes had been overflowing with tears of sadness but also of anger and disappointment as she'd continued yelling, "alright, mom, if you're not willing to help me, I'm gonna find someone else! Reyes or Doggett, maybe even Skinner! Or someone from the street!' She'd grabbed her jacket and yelled, "I don't need you!" as she'd stormed out of the house. _I don't need you_ , the words that sent a dagger through a mother's heart. Having her precious daughter fling them in her face had shattered her.

When she'd heard that door slam, tears had begun to roll down Maggie's cheeks, she'd almost broken down. She'd cried for her grandson, who'd be growing up with people other than his wonderful birth parents. For Fox, who'd be coming home one day to find his son gone. And, most of all, for Dana, who'd be crumbling under the guilt of what she'd done. Of that Maggie had been sure. Her daughter was strong and a fighter, but this would break her.

Time had proven her her correct; and she hated that. Dana had never been the same; and Fox's and Dana's love for each other hadn't survived the loss of their child.

At least so it seemed.

All Maggie could do in the present was make amends, "I apologize, Dana. I should've gone with you instead of letting a stranger do it. I'm still inconsolable, sweetheart, that I left you in the lurch."

It had taken Dana a long time until she'd been able to understand her mother's reaction for what it had been, an expression of her fear for her and her own pain over losing her grandson.

"You didn't, mom. It might've seemed that way to me when I ran away that day, but deep down I knew you only wanted to save me from the consequences of my actions. That wasn't what I wanted to hear, though. What I needed to hear was that I had his best interests at heart and that I was doing the right thing. And honestly, all that's kept me from losing my mind completely over it, is the fact that the adoption offered him the chance for a life away from the darkness Mulder and I live in. I need to believe that he is a happy teenager, that he faces problems like how to ask his first crush out to the prom, how to tell his parents about a bad mark in school, or how to treat his pimples. I simply didn't want him to deal with being chased by Super Soldiers or drawn into a governmental conspiracy."

Maggie's stomach churned. She preferred to be left in the dark about the specific dangers Fox and Dana had found themselves in while working for the FBI.

"I'm sure he is happy. I just hope that he'll get to meet his birth parents some day."

"That's not gonna happen, mom. The adoption papers are sealed. He's never gonna find out who we are, even if he wanted to."

"Can't you find him?"

"No, we don't have any legal rights to obtain any information about his whereabouts."

"Dana, come on, you worked for the FBI. If you wanted, you could ask someone for information about him, couldn't you?"

"Skinner knows."

"What?"

"Skinner knows. Our former boss knows where he lives. He promised us to keep an eye on him but also to never tell us where he is."

"That means that it is possible you reunite with your son, Dana. One day."

"No."

Maggie's heart, which had just jumped a little picturing mother and son re-bonding, instantly became heavy again at how resolutely Dana ruled out even the mere possibility. "Why not?"

"It might put him at risk. I'm protecting him by staying away and I am not going to jeopardize his safety after all these years just because I'm not dealing with it very well."

"But you're admitting that you're not dealing with it well. I've never heard you actually say it out loud."

"Of course, I'm not, mom, but don't make me get into this now, please. Coping with what happened today is difficult enough, I can't think about any other of the woes of my life right now."

"Sure, sweetheart. I won't make you do anything you don't want to. I'm here to comfort you."

"Thank you," Dana said, leaning in and resting her head on her mother's shoulder.

Maggie put her arm around Dana, pulled her closer and kissed her hair. She stroked gently up and down her daughter's arm a few times and contemplated. Funny how small the problems were when the kids were little and how they grew with them. As their mother, she would never not worry about her children, no matter how old and mature they were. As their mother, she would always suffer vicariously with them, would share their pain, emotional and physical, wishing she could take some of their sorrow off of them.

Since early childhood, Dana had always been the one eager not to worry her mother, keeping bad news from her as much as possible. As a girl, she would glue together a vase one of her brothers had broken or dress her scratched elbow herself and hide the wound under a long-sleeved shirt. This had gone so far as to keep her cancer a secret from her mother for weeks just so she wouldn't upset her. It was most certainly also the reason for not telling her in detail about what her work for the FBI consisted of, not to mention hiding all the circumstances of William's adoption. Dana had always wanted to be her parents' 'good kid', the one they didn't have to be concerned about in order to be able to care for Bill, the bully boy; Melissa, the innocent dreamer; and Charlie, the everlasting baby of the family. That she'd come to her today in her search for motherly solace, willing to share at least some of her distress, filled Maggie with relief and gratitude. She would help her daughter through this crisis, and if she knew Dana, she would master this like she'd mastered all the other crises in her life.

They sat on the sofa without talking for some time. Dana had closed her eyes and had snuggled even closer into her mother's embrace. Maggie softly hummed a melody that had always soothed little Dana back to sleep when she'd woken up from a bad dream. The scent of peppermint tea coming from the mugs on the coffee table, wafting through the entire room beamed Dana back to a time when her world had still seemed to be in order, when problems had been small and easily solvable.

Suddenly, an unexpected knock at the door pulled mother and daughter out of their comfortable silence.

"Who might that be at this ungodly hour?" Maggie asked and got up from the sofa to sneak out of the window. "A cab."

Guessing who it was, Dana only said, "I can't see him now. Please, mom."

Maggie nodded, stroked her daughter's head gently, then left her to answer the door. When she opened it, her heart broke for the second time this day. In front of her stood a shadow of the Fox Mulder she knew. He seemed to have shrunk a few inches, his formerly broad shoulders were gone, his cheeks were sunken, his whole demeanor powerless. He looked at her with hollow, tormented eyes.

"Hello, Fox," Maggie greeted him with a warm smile.

"Hello, Maggie," he answered, not returning the smile. She could see how hard this was for him, that by simply showing up at her doorstep he was using up the last bit of energy still in him. "Is she here?"

"Yes, she is, but…" Maggie trailed off.

"She doesn't want to see me, I know. I wouldn't have expected it any other way. I'm here because she forgot her practitioner's case, and I know she needs it tomorrow morning." He handed Maggie the leather bag he'd once given Dana for Christmas, full of gratitude then that she was finally walking down the career path he'd always wanted her to return to.

"Thank you, Fox, I'll give it to her."

"Uhm…how is she?"

"Not good. Neither are you, as much as I can tell."

He looked at his feet. "Thank you for taking care of her, Maggie. It's good to know she has someone to look after her."

"Who's looking after you, Fox?" Maggie asked, her heart spilling over with sympathy for the man in front of her.

"I don't need anybody. I don't want to be looked after. Don't deserve it anyway."

"Nonsense," Maggie told the second person today how stupid they were to believe they weren't worth enough.

The way Fox avoided her eyes, the way he talked and especially what he was saying, gave Maggie an idea of what her daughter had been trying to explain earlier. It was so obvious that this man was heavily depressed, even to a medical layman. But she wasn't willing to give up on him. On this particular moment, she set her mind on doing her very best to help him. She would check on him in a few days. He didn't want to accept Dana's help, but maybe he would let her get near him. They were close enough for him to trust her. She knew he liked her dearly, that he felt closer to her than he had to his own mother; and the feeling was mutual. Margaret Scully would worry about two of her children for the upcoming months, Dana and Fox.

"I better get going," Fox mumbled into his unkempt five o'clock shadow, "the meter's running."

"Sure."

"Tell her…" he hesitated, finishing only after a deep, painful inhale. "Tell her, I'm sorry. Tell her, I didn't want it to end like this. Tell her, I still…uh…" He stifled a sigh.

"I don't have to tell her, Fox, she knows. And I'm sure she still loves you too," Maggie told him, and what she'd just said brought her a slight smile from him, albeit a sad one.

"Goodbye, Maggie."

"Goodbye, Fox. Promise me to take care of yourself."

He nodded shortly, then turned around and entered the waiting cab without another look back.

Maggie closed the door slowly and returned to the living room where Dana was still sitting in the same spot.

"Fox brought your practitioner's case."

"I heard. I told him a few days ago that I was scheduled for a complicated surgery tomorrow morning. Actually, I'm surprised he even listened." She met her mother's eyes. "What did he look like?"

"I fear for him, Dana. What if he loses hope completely?"

"I have to make sure he takes his meds. He'll get worse if he doesn't. I can't let him deal with this illness alone. He needs to see a therapist."

Dana's words warmed Maggie's heart. That was how she knew her daughter, always caring and responsible. That was what made her proud of her. She'd never cared about professional success when it came to her children. She simply wanted them to be decent, kind, and compassionate human beings. And if there was a person full of decency, kindness, and compassion, it was Dana.

"Would you mind if I drove by the house within the next few days and had a look at how he's doing?" Maggie asked.

"Not at all. He loves you, mom, maybe he'll let you get through to him. I wish^ I could be the person pulling him out of this, but I can't. Not anymore. I gave him all of me, there's nothing left for me to give. I had to leave that house where I felt like the only living person. William's absence and Mulder's retreat from everything around him, including me, made it almost impossible for me to breathe. I simply can't be in that house anymore, at least not right now."

"Not right now. Are you saying this is only a temporary break and not a permanent separation?"

"I don't know. The mere idea of a life he's not in scares the shit out of me. He's been the center of my universe for most of my adult life. He's guided me, he pointed the way and I followed him down. I can't imagine myself being with anyone else, mom. It's Mulder or no one. How can I ever be with someone else after what I had with him? Right now I seem to be at a point where I can't live with him but also don't know how to live without him."

"You still love him," Maggie noted the obvious, which somehow put the whole story into a nutshell.

"Always have and always will. But love alone isn't enough." Dana looked at her mother, her eyes so full of uncertainty and doubt, Maggie's heart ached. She'd never seen her capable daughter so lost and vulnerable.

This was no usual breakup of two people whose love and devotion for one another had died. This was an act of self-preservation on behalf of her daughter, nothing else. If Maggie was totally sure of one thing, it was that their love for one another was still strong enough. She'd never seen two people more devoted and dedicated to each other than Fox and Dana. They had both pulled through many situations others would deem hopeless, they would be able to pull through this as well. They were fighters, incredibly strong and persevering. This couldn't be their undoing. It simply couldn't.

And she, Margaret Scully, mother to Dana and motherly friend to Fox, would do anything in her power to make sure it wouldn't.

* * *

 _If you also like Maggie as much as I do, please send me a prompt as a private message and I'd be happy to explore her character a bit more than what the series gave us. It can be canon or AU, it can be set during the original run of the series or during the reboot._

 ** _My thanks go to the wonderful VioletStella who doesn't get tired explaining English grammar to a German fanfic writer._**


	2. APPLE PIE

**APPLE PIE**

Thanksgiving was Margaret Scully's favorite holiday.

She had spent days preparing food and her famous apple pie would be the crowning finish of a delicious meal. Her whole family had gathered at her house. Bill and Tara had come with the kids from whatever Navy base the were stationed at and even Charlie had brought his wife Sandra and their three children this year. Dana was there, which filled Maggie with joy and gratitude every year after she'd been painfully missed during the years she couldn't attend the family gatherings.

Of course, there were some people dear to Maggie who weren`t with them tonight. Ahab, her beloved husband of almost four decades who'd passed away too early. Melissa, her older daughter who'd been taken away from her in cold blood. William, her miracle grandson who sat at another family's dinner table. And last but not least, Fox, her surrogate son and somewhat son-in-law. 'Somewhat' as they had never made their relationship official, had never signed a wedding certificate or spoken the vows in front of a priest. Or would ex-son-in-law be the more appropriate term? Maggie didn't know, and she assumed Dana didn't know either. They had separated, had called it a temporary breakup, but that had been more than two years ago.

Maggie witnessed first-hand how much Dana suffered from the situation. She saw her bury herself in her work, volunteering to take double shifts and on-call services until she broke down in the hospital from sheer exhaustion. She saw the dark circles under her eyes from insomnia and her drop weight from having lost her appetite. Only recently had she gotten better, since they had started working together again. As much as Maggie had cursed the FBI in Dana's and Fox's first turn as Special Agents, she silently thanked Skinner, their former and current boss, for bringing them together again.

It was doing them both good. Mulder, who had been fighting a depression after having lost all purpose of his life, was thriving again. The feeling of being needed, of being of service, of having a reason to get up in the morning filled him with the energy and power everybody thought he had lost for good. And Dana? Dana also thrived sharing parts of her life with her former partner once again. Even if they weren't back together, simply conversing with him over a case, working hand in hand with him, seeing him almost on a daily basis, steadied her. The color had returned to her cheeks, she actually smiled again and looked content in a way she hadn't in a long, long time.

But Maggie wanted more for them. Although Dana didn't get tired assuring her that neither of them thought of resuming their physical relationship, that their desperate love for each other had been all-consuming and had nothing left for them to give to the other, Maggie knew better. That was why she had invited Fox to her traditional Thanksgiving dinner this year. She had asked Dana if it was okay for her, hadn't wanted to catch her out playing Cupid, but she hadn't told Bill Jr., who had never been a fan of Mulder's. He would simply have to deal with the situation. So she as she was residing at the head of the table, watching everybody chatter happily, nervousness crept up her spine for the chime of the door bell she expected any minute. Matthew, her oldest grandson, had just whined about when dinner would be finally served when it happened. Bill threw his mother a surprising look and Dana couldn't hide a slight smile.

"I get it," Maggie explained and shoved her chair back to get up.

She opened the front door to a groomed, shaven, properly dressed and smiling Mulder with flowers in his hands. What a difference compared to the man he'd been a few months prior, before he'd started working with Dana again.

"Hello Fox, I'm so happy to see you. Come in," Maggie welcomed him.

"Thanks for the invitation, Maggie" he answered, stepping into the hallway. He placed a gentle kiss on the older woman's cheek and handed her all the flowers but one, a single yellow rose. He slipped out of his jacket and hung it on the rack by the door. There had been a time this house was like a second home to him. "Am I late?" he asked nodding to the living room where a loud chattering was coming from.

"Oh no, you're perfectly on time. Matthew just asked when dinner would be served. Teenagers," she sighed, "always hungry."

Mulder followed Maggie somewhat tentatively through the hallway, clutching the rose with both hands. "Uhm, Maggie…does Dana-" he started but was cut off by a gentle "Hi Mulder" of the woman he had just mentioned. She stood at the end of the hallway, showing him one of her small, toothless smiles. Maggie was pleased to notice her daughter's delight upon seeing him although she tried to hide it, as well as the way Fox beamed at her. Maggie closely observed their interaction for more hints that her plan might work out after all.

Fox took the remaining few steps until he reached the spot where Dana had positioned herself. He placed a cautious kiss on her cheek as well and gave her the rose. She smelled at it, then smiled. "Thank you."

"I hope you're okay with my showing up here. Your mother wouldn't take no for an answer," Fox mumbled.

"It's fine. I'm glad you're here," Dana answered.

"Your brother won't share your enthusiasm, I'm afraid."

"Don't mind Bill. Charlie's here, too, and he's always liked you. Plus, mom placed me between Bill and you, so consider me your protective shield."

"You're tiny, Scully, and your brother has long arms and huge hands. Are you sure you're able to protect me from a hostile Navy captain?"

"I protected you from hostile monsters and psychopaths, I'm fully capable of protecting you from my brother. Who I managed to rein in when we were kids, I might add. By the way, since I've had my self-defense training at the Academy and am allowed to carry a gun, he's tame as a kitten," she added with a tight-lipped grin. She grabbed his arm and tugged him along. "Come on, Mulder, time for you look the patriarch of the Scully-family in the face."

Maggie couldn't help but smile at their little banter. The mood between them hadn't been that light and playful for a long time. It even reminded her a little of the time when their relationship hadn't yet been tainted by a lonely pregnancy, a resurrection-from-the-dead experience, the loss of a son, a life underground, and an endogenous depression. What a great idea to invite him over, Maggie thought and mentally patted herself on the shoulder. She went into the kitchen to get a vase for the bouquet Mulder had brought her. When she returned to the dining room the first thing she noticed was the yellow rose on the table in front Dana's plate. Next, Bill's sour face and that Mulder was seated next to Scully and sort-of trying to hide behind her. A hopeless endeavor from the start, of course, as her daughter was almost half his size.

Maggie shouted out orders to everyone so that the food would be put on the table quickly. Her family cooperated well, Mulder too, who made sure the wine for the adults as well as the soda for the children made it safely to the table. When all of them had taken their seats, Maggie shushed her guests and was the first to fold her hands, tilt her head and close her eyes. The table fell silent and everybody, even the kids, listened carefully when she began to pray.

"Thank You, Heavenly Father, for this food we are about to eat. Thank You for Your amazing power and work in our lives, for Your goodness and for Your blessings over us, the ones we've seen, as well as the ones we haven't. Thank You for looking out for those who cannot be with us today. Ahab, Melissa, Emily, and William. We miss them, but their absence reminds us to keep our eyes fixed on heaven where we will all meet again some day. We give You praise and thanks, for You alone are worthy! In Jesus' Name, Amen."

Everyone mumbled 'Amen' and the adults crossed themselves; all but Mulder, who'd never been a religious person. But he was familiar with the tradition at a Scully Thanksgiving, for he had been a guest to a few of them; or so he thought. What he didn't know was that they had a new ritual established in the years of his absence during the worst phase of his depression and the following separation from Scully. Maggie started it by grabbing Bill's hand who was sitting to her right and Sandra's on her left. The others followed, taking each others' hands as well. Scully took Mulder's left hand, Louise, one of Charlie's daughters, held his right.

When the circle was closed, Maggie explained, "Fox, this is something we've been doing for a couple of years. We take each others' hands and think of what good has happened in the past year. It can be something small or something big, something personal or not, it doesn't matter. Just something we're grateful for. I, for example, am grateful, that in the past year all of my grandchildren found the time to pay me a visit. One stayed for a few days and helped me when I had the flu," she threw a warm smile at Louise, "one dropped by for half hour on my birthday." The exact same warm smile was thrown at Matthew who pursed his lips. "It didn't matter how long you stayed, the fact that you didn't forget your old grandmother filled me with joy. I thank the Lord for the wonderful grandchildren he's given me. The ones who are here tonight, as well as the ones who can't."

Maggie knew she made two people's heart ache particularly with this, but it was important to her to let Dana and Fox know that she considered William and Emily to be her grandchildren just like the others, that they belonged to their family and had a firm place in her heart like the ones sitting at her dining table right now. She noticed how Mulder's hand squeezed Scully's a little tighter and how both of them fought with their emotions.

"Your turn, Sandra," Maggie said, passing the torch to her daughter-in-law.

One after the other voiced their gratitude, and just as Maggie had explained, a smorgasbord of events and things was coming up. Neil, Charlie's youngest son was grateful for his new bike, Tara for the fact that Bill had returned safely from an overseas deployment. Charlie was grateful that he'd been offered a new job, and Louise for the experiences she made working part-time at a retirement home.

And then it was Mulder's turn. Maggie looked at him as he cleared his throat and squeezed Scully's hand again before he started to speak. "I am grateful, endlessly grateful, that in the past year a person has been led back into my life I'd already deemed lost forever."

Bill moaned silently and was kicked in the shin under the table by his mother. Dana stared at the rose in front of her working hard to keep her composure. Maggie could tell by the way her daughter chewed the inside of her cheek. Everyone else at the table had fallen silent, for they all knew about the sad and complicated history of their relationship.

Mulder continued. "This person, who'd been the light of my existence, my savior both literally as in the figurative sense, is the reason I'm still here on this planet, and I'm grateful for every minute I was allowed to spend with her." He cleared his throat again from a lump and coughed nervously.

'Jesus, Mulder,' Maggie heard her daughter whisper and him replying equally subdued, 'Sorry, Scully, but it's true.' "Thank you, Fox," she then said loud to break the awkward silence scattering the room, "for sharing with us such an intimate issue. Dana, you're next."

"I…uh," Scully blinked a tear away and licked her lips, clearly taken off-guard by Mulder's open words, "I am grateful for another year in remission. I know I'm saying this every year but every year that's been given to me since that nasty cancer is a gift. Not all of them were happy years, but I don't want to miss a single one because they have brought me to where I am at this very moment. And I'm grateful for being here today."

Now it was Mulder who blinked away a tear. Maggie was moved by what she heard from Dana and Fox. It was proof of how scarred the souls of those two were, but also how only they had the power to heal each other. She had been so right to play Cupid. They belonged together, in one way or another.

Bill finished the round by thanking the Lord for holding his protective hand over the men of his Navy unit, and soon, the somewhat heavy mood was dispersed by the passing around of bowls and platters, the clinking of glasses, a cheerful chatter and laughter. Maggie's heart leapt at the view of three generations of Scullys - and she had always added Mulder in - sitting at her table enjoying each others' presence. In a few years, a fourth generation might join them. She hoped to live long enough to see that happen. She sent a silent prayer to her late husband, phrasing in her head, 'Look, Ahab, how wonderful our children and their children are. I wished you were here but I know you're looking at us from above. I love you.'

When all stomachs were filled, the entire party worked together to clear the table quickly, moving back and forth between the dining room and the kitchen. Eventually, Maggie shooed them all out of her realm, all but one.

"Fox, would you give me a hand with making coffee and cutting the apple pie?"

"Sure," Mulder said.

"You still know how to operate the coffee maker, don't you?"

"Of course, Maggie, it's not exactly rocket science," he replied and flicked the power switch, bringing the machine to life. He opened an overhead cabinet and took out some coffee cups and saucers. He still knew himself around Margaret Scully's kitchen. He'd helped her often in the past. Actually, they'd had some of their best conversations while she was cleaning the dishes in the sink he then dried and put away.

"That was very sweet what you said earlier, during the gratitude round," Maggie said, handing him the bag with the coffee beans.

"Hmm," was all he replied.

"Dana liked it too."

"I'm not so sure about that. She hates her emotions being dragged into the public."

"We're not the public, Fox, we're her family," Maggie insisted.

"Yeah, but still."

He sighed noisily. Maggie sensed his doubtful state of mind, although he had his back turned to her so she couldn't read his face. She walked over to where he had busied himself with fumbling at the coffee machine which was actually working perfectly well on its own.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter, Fox? You seem a bit at odds with yourself."

He turned around and looked at her.

"I meant every word I said, Maggie. I'm so glad to have her back in my life. Work is great and we function together as if we'd never quit, but…" he trailed off, stifling another sigh.

"But?"

"I want to have her back completely, all of her. I can't imagine myself with anyone but her."

Maggie knew that the same applied to Dana. For all the time they'd been separated, she'd never been out on a date, and Maggie was sure several men had been interested. Once she had even witnessed how Dana rebuffed a fellow doctor quite frankly, telling him she was 'not available'. But she also knew that after all Dana and Fox had been through, wiping the slate clean wasn't that easy.

Dana had told her how much she enjoyed working on the X-Files again. On the one hand, the cases challenged her scientist's intellect in a way not even the most complicated surgery could, but on the other hand, and maybe more important one, she had missed Fox just as much as Fox had missed her. They had never fallen out of love with each other, despite the severe problems they had faced in their relationship. Maggie knew her daughter and she assumed that is was mainly fear that held Dana back. She kept Fox at arm's length for fear of hurting again, of not being able to make it last.

"I thought of asking her to move back in. She lives in that tiny apartment which costs a fortune when at the same time there's plenty of room at our house. She'd have an office of her own and a bedroom. We could be…roommates."

Maggie pursed her lips, tilted her head and arched an eyebrow. "Roommates? Is that what you want her to be? Your roommate?"

"Of course not! I want her-" Mulder swallowed the rest of the sentence when Scully appeared in the doorframe to the kitchen. "Do you need any help in here?" she asked.

"No thanks, honey, we're almost done," Maggie said. "Why don't you two go outside for a moment? It's nice and the neighbor's boy, Tyler, did a wonderful job painting the garden shed. Maybe you'd like to have a look at it? I'm fine getting the pie ready myself."

With this, Maggie nudged them out of the kitchen. She was on a mission and just hoped that outside, being on their own with no curious family members within earshot, they might find a way to talk about what they had both said at the table earlier. She had a perfect view of the garden shed from her kitchen window. Giving them some undisturbed privacy didn't necessarily mean she had to rein in her own curiosity.

So Maggie watched through the window above the sink how they stepped outside in their jackets, Fox placing his hand at the small of Dana's back. They were walking side by side the few yards over to the shed, came to a halt and turned to each other, not deigning to look at the kid's painting job for even a second. Not that Maggie had really expected them to. The coffee machine was announcing the end of its task with an ongoing beep but Maggie didn't notice. She was too distracted by what was happening outside. They spoke to each other and Dana cupped Fox's cheek. This was going in the right direction, Maggie thought, absent-mindedly operating the milk frother for several minutes now.

"Mom?"

Bill Jr. had startled his mother.

"The coffee machine is beeping," he said, switching it off. He threw her a bewildered look. "What are you looking at?" He joined her at the sink and looked outside. When he saw Mulder and his sister deep in a conversation, he groaned. "What the-" slipped out of his mouth, and he just managed to keep that last word inside.

Maggie set the milk frother aside. She took the apple pie out of the pantry and handed him a knife. "Make yourself useful, Bill, and cut the pie."

Bill took the knife from her but ignored the pie. "What is she doing? She's not falling for his syrupy vows from earlier, is she?"

"Bill," Maggie tried to appease.

"No, seriously, mom, why is she even listening to him?"

Mother and son were both standing shoulder to shoulder now, staring outside. Maggie's heart jumped in anticipation, whereas Bill felt bile rising up his throat. Eventually, they observed how Mulder leaned in and placed a shy kiss on Scully's lips.

"Nooooo," Bill groaned, "Dana, please! How is he able to bewitch her again and again, mom? I don't get it!"

"She loves him, Bill, what's there not to understand? Your sister has been in love with this man for many, many years."

"But she left him! Why did she leave him if he's such a great guy?"

"You're a married man yourself, you know the ups and downs of a relationship. Dana and Fox had to fight demons, none of us would've been able to deal with."

While Maggie and Bill were discussing the relationship of the two people they were watching, said two people moved closer to one another. Maggie's heart beat a little faster when she saw how Dana let Fox pull her toward him, how he cupped her face with both hands, and how their lips met. They shared a tender kiss which soon turned into a quite passionate one, that much was obvious from their observation post. Fox's hand went into Dana's hair, Dana's arms around Fox's waist.

"I can't believe this pitiful loser is sweet-talking her into following him again," Bill huffed, sliding the knife crudely through the apple pie.

"William Scully Jr., watch your mouth! I know you're only worried about your sister, but she's no stupid little girl who can be manipulated with a few charming words. And Fox is a decent and very kind man who'd give his life for Dana. Accept the fact that those two belong together and learn to live with him being your sister's choice. Now you cut that pie into fair slices, I take care of the dishes." With this, she left him alone in the kitchen.

When her husband had still been alive, the patriarch of the family, Margaret had rather been the sort of housewife and mother who dealt with the unwanted behavior of her children in a gracious and tender manner, leaving it mainly to her husband to tell them off or punish them. When they'd been grounded by their father, she'd bring them milk and cookies and pardon them ahead of time if she thought the punishment was too severe. But since Ahab was not around anymore, she had to take over his role, and just because her children were adults didn't mean they didn't need some serious motherly talking once in a while.

The moment Maggie entered the hallway with a tray full of the dishes and silverware she was about to put on the dining table, the front door opened and Mulder and Scully stepped inside. Maggie almost dropped the tray when she noticed that they were holding hands. Dana's cheeks glowed, Fox's eyes sparkled and Maggie's heart threatened to burst.

"Oh hi, mom," Scully said, letting go of Mulder's hand as if it was a hot potato.

'Cute,' Maggie thought, 'like when I caught her holding hands with her first beau. What was his name again? Brandon? Yes, Brandon McCoy, her classmate in school.'

"Mulder and I…uhm, we…well, uh…" she started clumsily. Fox was standing behind her, smiling like a Cheshire cat and obviously touching her at places which made her squirm. Maggie wasn't stupid.

"It's okay, honey. We saw you."

"We?" Scully shrieked.

"Bill and I. Through the kitchen window."

"Bill? Bill saw us kiss?" There was a slight hysteric ring to Scully's voice now.

"He'll get over it. I'm not so sure about the apple pie, though. He might have slaughtered it by now."

"Bill is holding a knife in his hands? I better go and hide. I'm sorry, Maggie, I didn't mean to ruin your Thanksgiving dinner," Mulder interjected and Maggie cringed because of how truly contrite he sounded.

"Don't be ridiculous, Fox! You haven't ruined anything but made an old woman very happy. Just don't screw this up again, you two. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Mulder replied, placing his hands on Scully's shoulders and a quick peck on her cheek from where he was still standing behind her, evoking a joyful smile and a girlish giggle from her that made Maggie warm all over.

"Put your coats back on the rack and join us in the dining room in a few. I'm going to fill the other's in, although I'm quite sure they will be able to read it in your faces. The women, at least," Maggie said with a grin, then turned on her heel and headed toward the dining room. Just when she'd walked around the corner at the end of the hallway and was out of sight, she heard Bill step out of the kitchen. She held her breath. The last thing they needed was a fight between two men in their belief they had to protect Dana. She stayed put, pricking up her ears to be ready to separate the gamecocks if necessary.

"Dana. Mulder," she heard Bill huff.

"Bill-," Fox started but was cut off instantly by Dana. "Mulder, go inside! This is something between my brother and myself."

"But Scully…"

"Go!" Dana insisted and shoved him forward, Maggie figured by the sounds coming from the hallway. 'Good girl,' she whispered. When he had caught up to her, she just handed him the tray and motioned for him to move further to the dining room. She didn't want him to overhear what she was going to eavesdrop on.

"How could you, Dana? What kind of a toxic relationship is this?" Bill's voice came from the hallway. Maggie's stomach churned. Hadn't he understood a word she'd said to him?

"He's a good man, Bill, despite what you're thinking of him."

"You suffered. You were hurt. You were mistreated. Jesus, Dana, this man has brought more pain into your life than one person should be dealing with in their life."

"You're saying this as if he did it on purpose. He suffered, was hurt and mistreated just like me. That's what's been melding us together, don't you see? For goodness sake, we have a child together we had to give up, Bill! Imagine I told you to let go of Tara just because I thought she wasn't good enough for you."

"It wouldn't be the same."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't know Tara like I do."

Maggie covered her mouth to stifle a chuckle. She knew Bill had just maneuvered himself into a corner now.

"But you know Mulder better than I do? Nobody.. _.no_ -body knows Mulder better than I do. I know him better than he knows himself. We're the only ones who fully understand the other's issues, who have the ability to heal each other. If you like to call it toxic, then go ahead. I know you're only trying to protect me, Bill, and I appreciate your concern, but you've got to leave the choice of whom I'm sharing my life with to myself."

'That's my girl.' In her mind, Maggie applauded her. She didn't hear Bill reply anything, she assumed because he simply didn't know what to say. Dana had made her point, and she'd made it convincingly. Maybe, hopefully, he had understood by now.

"I just want my little sister to be happy."

"I am, Bill. As much as I can ever be."

"If you say so."

"I do. There's really no need for you to worry about me. I'm a big girl."

"Alright. Okay. Fine. I'll do my best to keep my mouth shut from now on. But as soon as he mistreats you in any way, I'll be back."

"He won't, Bill. He won't."

Maggie could hear the smile in Dana's voice. A load had been taken off her mind and she leaned her head against the wall in relief. She peeked around the corner into the hallway and what she saw made her eyes watery. Dana had put her head on her brother's broad chest and Bill had folded his arms around his sister's shoulders. This day not only seemed to be a new beginning for Dana and Fox but also for Dana and Bill.

"Mmmm," Dana hummed, "that's nice Bill. I could use a brotherly hug like this once in a while."

"Whenever. But for now, we should go back inside and make sure we get some of mom's apple pie. As far as I know, your Mulder has a sweet tooth, and Matthew never seems to be done eating these days. And if I don't get a slice of that pie, I'll get grumpy, that's for sure. I've been looking forward to it for days."

"You're making a point here, Bill. Let's go."

Maggie heard Dana's chuckle approaching and sneaked into the guest bathroom in a hurry because she didn't want them to find out she had eavesdropped on their conversation. She closed the door behind herself and sat down on the closed toilet lid, breathing in and out a few times. What a perfect Thanksgiving this was. She had a lot to be grateful for. All that mattered to her at this stage of her life was her family, and it filled her with joy that at this moment in time. Every member of the Scully family was healthy, loved and well-cared for. There was only one person she couldn't be sure about, William. He was the only blind spot on the otherwise colorful family tree, an issue that kept Maggie awake night.

She got up and clicked her tongue when she looked at her reflection in the mirror. "Margaret, your mission as head of this family isn't completed yet," she told herself, "there's one more thing you have to do. Bring that last lost sheep back to the herd." She rubbed her cheeks and smiled at herself. When she opened the door, she was fiercely determined to have one more member of the Scully clan sitting at her Thanksgiving table next year.

She couldn't wait to make a plan.


	3. ROOT BEER

**Author's Note:** This is for VioletStella who encouraged me to write something fluffy about Scully and her mom shopping baby clothes. Well, this is how fluffy it got...

* * *

 **ROOT BEER**

"You can't be serious, mom. You're taking me shopping for baby clothes?" Scully asked from her place in the passenger seat of her mother's old, beat-up Nissan. "You said you would take me on a fun trip."

"This will be fun! You and me and all these cute little baby things. Besides, you're more than eight months along, Dana. What did you plan to dress my grandchild in after he or she was born? A receiving blanket? The nursery is still an empty room. I told Fox to drive to my house while we are away and get the Scully family crib, so the kid has something to sleep in at least. But you also need clothes, a baby tub, diapers, formula and-"

"I'm going to nurse him, mom, I won't need formula, at least not for the first weeks," Scully said before she realized that she disclosed information with it she would have rather kept a secret until the baby was born.

"Him?"

Scully sighed. "Yes, mom, I'm having a boy, but don't tell anyone, especially not Mulder. He's been trying to pry the gender out of me and thinks he's being very clever in his subtle efforts when a matter-of-fact he isn't."

"Oh, that's wonderful, Dana!" Maggie shrieked joyfully. "I've always pictured you as a boy's mother. You were such a tomboy yourself."

Margaret Scully had picked her daughter up half an hour ago. Her grandchild was due in a little more than three weeks and Dana hadn't even agreed on a baby shower yet. She was on maternity leave, had all time in the world to build a nest for her baby, but all she had done so far was attending two Lamaze classes; one all by herself and one together with Fox. Plus, this whole I'm-not-speaking-about-who-the-father-is thing was very disturbing for Maggie. In a way, she understood Dana's voicelessness. At the beginning of her pregnancy, Fox - He was the father, of that Maggie was sure. Who else? - had been missing and had later been presumed dead. Dana had tried to cope with the sad truth that her child would have to grow up without a father, so she had refused to even talk about him. But now that Fox had returned, the entire circumstances of his miraculous resurrection still incomprehensible to Maggie, why would Dana still not name him as the father? Not to mention the fact that some kind of gray veil seemed to be draped over this last stage of her pregnancy which had made her even neglect shopping for baby clothes. So Maggie had decided to take her out for a fun mother-and-daughter afternoon they would spend in several baby shops. Later on, she'd treat her some ice cream, chocolate cake, hot dog, greasy pizza or whatever food she was currently craving.

"First stop. Dawn's Baby Boutique." Maggie pulled over into a parking lane, unbuckled and got off the car. She walked around it to the passenger side to help Scully who was struggling to heft her massive body out of the vehicle.

"How is it that you know baby boutiques, mom?"

"I asked Grace's daughter, Amber. She had her twins half a year ago and she knows all the good stores."

Maggie grabbed Scully's sleeve and tugged her along into the boutique. They heard a chime when they stepped inside. A very attentive shop assistant instantly showed up at their side.

"Welcome to Dawn's Baby Boutique. Just because you're little, doesn't mean you have to dress out of style. My name is Francine, how can I help you?"

Scully rolled her eyes but Maggie was delighted. "It's our first baby," she told the over-zealous salesperson, "we'd really appreciate your help." Her daughter moaned.

"Are we having a girl or a boy?" Francine cooed.

"I...am having a boy," Scully noted somewhat annoyed. She hated being addressed like a five-year-old at the dentist. "And I think we'll be fine, Francine, just show us the boys section, please."

"What kind of style are you looking for?"

"Uh, I beg your pardon? Onesies, bodysuits, pajamas...something like this?"

"No, I meant which of our current collections are you interested in? The pastel collection? The black-and-white collection? Are you looking for casual outfits or something more prestigious for an official occasion?"

"Official occasion? Look, I just need some newborn essentials, okay? Nothing fancy or stylish."

"I see. Well, then here's our 30% off clearance of last year's collection."

Scully grabbed an item randomly off the table Francine was pointing at with some repulsion in her gesture as if she was leading them to the poison chest and held it in the air. "A simple white bodysuit for 29.95?"

"It's a well known French brand," Francine spoke as if to a complete ignorant. "It's 90% organic cotton and 10% merino wool. You have to wash this by hand."

Scully chuckled. "By hand? A baby bodysuit? Well, my child does not need exclusive, stylish clothes. I want something convenient, comfortable and affordable. No frills."

Francine slammed her eyes shut at the word 'frills' and sighed dramatically. "Well, then I'm afraid our boutique is not the right place for you, Ma'am. Our clientele usually consists of people with a sense for fashion," she said with her nose up in the air.

"You know what, Francine? I have the same feeling. Come on, let's go, mom." Scully grabbed her mother's arm and towed her out of the store.

Maggie hadn't said a single word, she had simply listened to the exchange between her daughter and the shop assistant, her mouth open and her eyes wide. "I didn't know you had to be a graduate in fashion design to be able to buy baby clothes," she said when they were out on the street again.

"You don't, mom. Let's find a department store with a baby section. I'm sure they have all we need there." Scully linked arms with her mother and waddled next to her. "She was funny, though." She tried to imitate Francine's slightly nasal, snobbish tone of voice, "our clientele usually has a sense for fashion, Ma'am." Both women looked at each other and burst out in laughter.

Maggie was very pleased. Despite this first abortive attempt of layette shopping, she had already reached the main goal of the afternoon and that was to make Dana forget her worries for a while and enjoy herself. They had been walking for quite a while through the streets in their search for a department store, mainly because Scully hadn't exactly swift feet these days, when she abruptly came to a halt and moaned.

"What's the matter, honey," Maggie asked, worry threaded in her voice, "something wrong?"

"No," Scully answered, rubbing her belly, "the baby...it's practicing gymnastics. Ouff!"

"You mean he."

"Yes, he." A huge ear-to-ear smile developed on Scully's face. "I think I'm too used to keeping the gender neutral. It's nice to call him he. Ouch! One more somersault. Hey, junior," she addressed the person in her belly, stroking her protruding abdomen tenderly, "have mercy on your mother. In a bit of time, you'll have so much room to kick around, but not now, please. Grandma and I are going to buy some stuff for you."

Maggie wasn't ashamed of the tears that were brimming up in her eyes. When her daughter had told her after her cancer treatment that she wouldn't be able to have children, she had been heartbroken. Everyone thought that Dana was a career woman, that fighting her way up the ladder in a male-dominated environment had made her tough, stony, and centered on her professional success, but that had never been true. Maggie knew that she was caring and compassionate and had so much love to give, to a man as well as to a child. Being a mother herself, and having found so much joy in this role, she had been awfully sorry for Dana, especially when she had noticed how much she herself mourned the children she would never have, although she had tried to hide it. Of course, she had, like she always hid her innermost turmoil, even from her mother, but today she was showing how much she enjoyed her pregnancy and how much she anticipated her child being born. It hadn't been like this for most of her pregnancy and it filled Maggie's heart with so much joy and hope that she felt like jumping up and down like a little girl. "May I?" she asked holding her hand in front of Scully's abdomen.

"Sure, mom," Scully said and placed her mother's hand at the spot where her son's feet pushed against her belly from the inside. "Thanks for asking though, you won't believe how many people think they can touch a pregnant woman just because they feel like it."

"Yes, I remember. Grandma Scully used to do that, and Aunt Mary, too. It felt like they were sizing me up every time they saw me. I hated it but didn't dare to say a word."

"Oh, I did, believe me. The people who touched me will never touch a pregnant woman again without asking for permission first!"

Maggie laughed. She believed every word Dana said. Her daughter could be very intimidating despite her frail appearance. She'd always admired her for her ability to compel respect and make herself heard. She felt the baby move under the palms of her hands, him. Even after four children and two grandchildren procreation still was a miracle to Maggie, God's work. She stroked Dana's belly with awe through the fabric of her blouse, which was stretched tightly now that the pregnancy was coming to its end. "Is he always this active?"

"Not so much lately. I guess it gets a little tight in there," Scully said with a wry smile, her hands on her lower back.

Maggie pulled her hands back and searched her daughter's face for signs of exhaustion. "Do you need a rest? Shall we go for a drink somewhere?"

"I'm fine, mom. Let's do the shopping first and grab something to eat and drink afterward. I'm craving some cheesecake and a root beer."

With this, Scully linked arms with her mother again and they resumed walking down the street side by side.

"I more or less lived on root beer when I was pregnant with you, Dana," Maggie reminisced. "I sent your father to a 24/7 gas station at night once because I needed a root beer so badly that I couldn't go back to sleep without having one. He was so annoyed, he said you would be our last one. Well..." She chuckled. Charlie, their youngest child, had been born only two years later, and then it had been herself who had shot the bolt after number four because strictly speaking, she had been raising their kids more or less alone with Ahab being absent most of the time. Being a Navy wife hadn't always been easy. She sincerely hoped for Dana to have the baby's father around more to shoulder some of the burdens.

And here she was again contemplating Fox's role. Why was Dana so reluctant to name him as the father? And why was he so aloof? It could only be him, couldn't it? Maggie hoped to get a chance to talk to Dana about it. Later, when the shopping would be done.

"I wished I could have more than one," Dana pulled her out of her reverie. "I loved growing up with three siblings. I imagine life as an only child can be boring sometimes."

"Who says you won't have another one?"

"This pregnancy is a miracle, mom, and miracles don't happen twice."

"We'll see," Maggie said in a voice heavy with meaning and a warm smile. "Look there's Bloomingdales. Shall we have a look in there?"

Three hours later, mother and daughter were sitting in a café downtown, recovering from their extensive shopping, several huge shopping bags scattered at their feet. They had ordered cheesecake and tea, although Scully craved for a strong espresso the doctor had forbidden. Maggie watched with delight how she savored the cake, moaning slightly and licking her lips every time she put a piece into her mouth.

"Mmmm, this is so good. Would you share another one with me, mom?"

"No, honey, I'm full, but you can have one more." Maggie waved for the waitress.

"I can't possibly eat two pieces of cake, I'm already so fat," Scully whined.

"You're not fat, Dana, you're pregnant, and pregnant women are allowed to let themselves get carried away sometimes. Anyway, you'll lose all the weight you've gained once you start nursing, you'll see. So relax and enjoy." She looked at the waitress who had joined them at the table. "We'll have another piece of cheesecake, please, and two root beer floats." When her daughter looked at her questioningly, her left eyebrow hitting her hairline, she said matter-of-factly, "we deserve a bit of indulgence, don't you think?"

Scully furrowed her brows. "I think I've never seen you drink a root beer, mom."

"I guess I had an overdose during my pregnancy with you, I couldn't stand it anymore once you were born. It made me sick, actually. But today, I feel like having one."

"I'll be in a sugar coma once I get home."

"So what?" Maggie asked her and was rewarded with a beautiful smile. "Yeah, so what," Scully silently agreed.

When the supplementary serving of cheesecake arrived along with two outrageously delicious looking root beer floats, the Scully women resumed their pleasurable chat about everything and anything but after a while, Maggie couldn't keep her curiosity in check any longer.

"Forgive my asking you this, Dana, but it's a question that's been keeping me occupied for quite a while now." Maggie looked at her, hesitated a moment, then got if off her chest. "Fox and you...uhm...will you be getting married? It would make sense now that the baby is coming any time soon, wouldn't it?"

Dana's eyes widened. She swallowed. It was clearly something she wasn't comfortable talking about. "Uhm, that's a rather personal question," she mumbled.

"I know, but I'm your mother, Dana, and I'm worried about you."

"There's no need to worry."

"Really?"

"Really."

Maggie was not convinced. "To be honest, the two of you don't appear like a happy couple waiting impatiently for their baby to be born."

"That's maybe because we aren't," Dana said, her features so frozen it made a shiver travel down Maggie's spine.

"You aren't happy?"

"A couple. Happy...Uh, I don't know, mom, it's complicated."

"But he is the father." Maggie chose to phrase it as a statement, putting it as a question entailed too many complications, and besides, it seemed impossible that Dana had been together with someone else but...the mere thought of it was... Maggie shook her head.

"Yes, he is the father, but he's still struggling with his future role. What was dad like when you were pregnant with Bill?"

Maggie smiled at the reminiscences of her late husband. "He would've never admitted it but he was scared to death. I remember how he secretly read those books about how to care for a newborn, believing I didn't notice. It's not easy for men, Dana. We, as women, can bond with the being growing inside us much easier that men. We carry the child in our bellies for nine months, we feel our bodies change in their natural ability to nurture. For them, the whole thing is so abstract and incomprehensible. All they can do is witness their wives change, secretly fearing what motherhood would do to them, whether they will live on mainly being mothers to their child and not so much their lovers anymore. Men struggle with jealousy just as firstborns who are awaiting the arrival of a sibling. But when the baby has eventually been born, when they are able to hold it, the fears and doubts evaporate into thin air. I remember your father's wrinkled forehead when they wheeled me into the delivery room just as much as his blissful face when he was holding Bill for the first time. It happened to your father, and you'll see, honey, the same will happen to Fox."

Her story had touched Dana, Maggie could read it on her face. She had always been daddy's girl and the one who had suffered from Ahab's unexpected passing the most beside herself. Pulling her further down sweet memory lane couldn't harm. "He was thrilled when you were born, Dana. He'd so hoped for another girl."

"Really? I thought men rather hoped for a son and heir."

"He already had his son," Maggie said with a smile. "And he already had a daughter he adored. I don't know what it was between you, but the moment he saw you after you'd been cleaned up by the nurse, he was enchanted. And no matter what you did, the spell had never been broken."

Dana threw her a bittersweet smile, bitter for the hole her father had left behind in her life, and sweet for how close she had been to him. "I wonder how Mulder reacts," she said more to herself than to Maggie.

"Will he be at your side in the delivery room? I wished I had Ahab with me, but men weren't allowed back then."

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it yet. We haven't talked about so many things."

"Why?"

"Because it's so difficult, mom. It's really complicated between us."

"In what sense?"

Dana bit her lower lip, sucked it in and chewed on it. She was fighting with herself whether or not she should tell her. Maggie, on her part, didn't know what to make of her hesitance. All she wanted Dana to do was unburden her heart, so she implored, "Dana?"

"There's something I never told you, mom." She sipped nervously at her root beer float and licked the froth off her lips. "Do you remember when I told you that when Mulder had been searching for a cure for my cancer he also found a vial with ova that had been harvested from me during my abduction?"

"Sure, dear." Maggie remembered every word. What Dana had told her the Christmas she had found out that Emily Sim was her biological daughter had sounded so surreal and had been so incomprehensible that it had taken Maggie several days before she had been able to believe it. Until then, she had always assumed that the chemo and radiation had been the cause for Dana's barrenness.

"What I didn't tell you was that Mulder not only found the ova but had it stored in a reproduction facility. I asked my doctor to check it and he told me the eggs were viable and that he could get me pregnant with them if I had a sperm donor. I...uhm, I asked Mulder. And he agreed."

Maggie nodded. Of course. Fox. Who else?

"It was the most wonderful thing a friend has ever done for me," Dana hiccuped and smiled for a brief moment. "I was so grateful. But it didn't take it, obviously. When I couldn't afford a second attempt, he insisted on paying for it. He so badly wanted this for me because he felt responsible for my being barren. It didn't work out either as we all know. I thought that this was it, that this had been my last chance to have a child and I was devastated. He told me to never give up on a miracle."

"Your FBI partner not only donated his sperm but also paid for the procedure to get you pregnant? I've never heard of anything like it."

"As I said, things are different between us."

"They definitely are. They are wonderful though, Dana. I mean, he must have cared for you a lot to be doing that."

"I know." Dana clenched her jaws and swallowed.

"Is this pregnancy also a result of an in vitro fertilization?" Maggie asked.

"No. Uh, Mulder and I...we, uhm..." her vis-á-vis cleared her throat now. Maggie held her hand up to silence her daughter and help her out of the uncomfortable situation, signaling her she knew what needed to be done to conceive a child the traditional way, and the awkwardness was gone. Dana continued. "Of course, we never expected this to happen. When he went to Oregon, he left a barren women and he can't understand how he returned to a heavily pregnant one. He doesn't feel any connection to this pregnancy. He calls it _the_ baby or _your_ baby, it's never _ours_ or _his_. He says he's happy for me, and that the child is lucky to have me as their mother. He sees himself as the sperm donor once again, I'm afraid, and not as the father."

A sad sob escaped Dana's chest which tore Maggie's heart apart. She squeezed her hands tenderly to keep them still after they had been fumbling with the napkin the whole time. "Give him time, Dana. He's still here. If he had wanted to escape from fatherhood, he would've left. I'm sure he wants to reach out to you but simply doesn't know how. He's completely and utterly devoted to you, that much is clear."

"Do you really think so?"

"I'm absolutely sure. Ever since you'd been abducted, I knew about his feelings for you. And I want you to stop worrying, sweetheart. You're going to have a baby soon, and you're going to be a wonderful mother. Everything is going be fine, Fox and you are going be fine. Have you decided on a name yet?"

"Yes, I have, but I want Mulder to be the first person to know. No offence, mom."

"None taken." Maggie lifted Dana's chin with her index finger to make her look at her. "Another root beer?"

Dana shook her head. "No, I think I'm going to burst if I swallow down anything else. Plus, my swollen feet are killing me. I need to put them up on the couch. I'd like to go home."

Maggie nodded and beckoned the waitress over. "Alright, sweetheart. Let me get the check, this is on me."

When Scully opened the door to her apartment half an hour later, she dropped her bags right next to the door and rushed to the bathroom without saying a word. Mulder, who was sitting on the couch reading the sports section of the paper, looked up and then shrugged at Maggie who stepped over the threshold behind her daughter carrying some more bags.

"Full bladder?" he asked.

Maggie chuckled. "Probably one too many root beers."

"Oh, that craving again. There's nothing like Scully in a state of hyperglycemia. She'll be active all night."

"I'm sorry, Fox. We just had so much fun eating cheesecake and drinking root beer."

"That's perfectly alright, Maggie. She deserves to have fun. She's too occupied with worrying these days." _One of the reasons for her worrying being you_ , Maggie thought but didn't speak out loud. But at least he noticed her state of mind and was obviously worried about her too. That was a good sign. "Your shopping trip was a success, so it seems." He points to the bags Scully had dropped and the ones Maggie was still holding in her hands.

"Definitely. If your baby was born tomorrow, there would be everything here you need." She'd deliberately chose to say 'your baby' just to see how he reacted. And he didn't disappoint.

"That's wonderful for Dana. I'd hate to see her lacking something essential once she's home with the baby."

Maggie had just wanted to ask him where he was planning to be once Dana got home but was kept from doing so by Scully crying out in the hallway. Maggie stared briefly at Mulder, then hurried over to her to check for the cause of it. When she reached her at the door to what was to become the nursery, she found her in tears. "What's the matter, Dana? Are you in pain?" Maggie asked in a high-pitched voice, scrutinizing her daughter from head to toe, but nothing seemed wrong with her. She didn't hold her back, she didn't breathe any pain away or grimaced in agony, apparently, the water hadn't been broken either. All she did was lean against the doorframe and stare into the room.

Scully didn't answer her mother. She kept on staring into the room, her eyes watery. "Mulder," she eventually whispered when he had caught up with them, "you painted the wall and assembled the diaper changing unit."

"And you fetched the crib from my house," Maggie added stepping inside the room. She smelt the fresh paint. The wall where Fox had put up the changing unit had been painted in a bright, sunny yellow. Dana had wanted it yellow as it would be okay for both a boy and a girl. Maggie's hand grazed the old crib gently which was standing in the middle of the room. Bill, Melissa, Dana, and Charlie had all slept in this crib. And soon Fox and Dana's baby boy would be sleeping merrily in it, and they would be gazing inside at the miracle they had created just like Ahab and herself had done so many years ago. She forced her emotions down which threatened to overwhelm her.

"Yeah, I got bored." Fox rescued her from the emotional overload. "So, on my way to your house, I went to the hardware store and bought some paint. Yellow, like you said you wanted, Scully. It's suitable for a nursery and safe for a pregnant woman as well, the shop assistant told me. It's latex-based and even saliva-proof, just in case the offspring wanted to lick the wall. The smell will wear off quickly as long as the room is ventilated sufficiently. I also bought some wall stickers for when the paint has dried. They had a set of stars and planets with a UFO," he paused and let the idea dangle in the air for a moment before he continued with a grin, "but I got the zoo set. It has giraffes and elephants and monkeys and all kinds of wild animals. I thought you might like that one better, Scully. Nothing alien-related in your baby's room, right?"

There it was again, he had said _your_ baby. Maggie's chest constricted but Dana didn't seem to bother. She waddled over to him and put a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, that's so thoughtful of you."

"Uh, you're welcome." He raked through his hair shyly as if he was embarrassed by the innocent kiss. Maggie saw in front of her very eyes what her daughter had told her about the lacking connection between them. "No big deal really," he declared with a shrug, "you were away for hours and I didn't know what to do with myself. So, what did you get?"

"Ooooh, so many things. Bodysuits, onesies, tops and bottoms, socks, PJs, hats, a jacket. We got blankets, swaddles, bibs, a towel and washcloth set." She took a deep breath before she continued listing the items they had shopped. "Diapers, wipes, pacifiers, baby nail scissors, a music box and a nightlight. It was so much fun, Mulder."

Fox smiled at her and Maggie saw his love for her flash up in his eyes for a split second. "That's good, Scully," he then said, "now you don't need to worry about any of these things anymore." He used _you_ again as if he had nothing to do with it, while at the same time he had been painting the nursery with non-toxic, saliva-safe paint. _Contradiction, thy name is Fox Mulder_ , Maggie thought and sighed quietly.

"I also bought something for you, Mulder," her daughter gushed, not hiding her excitement. To Maggie's surprise, she pulled a little paper bag with a ribbon out of one of the huge bags on the floor. She had caught Fox off-guard obviously as he asked somewhat flabbergasted, "for me?"

"Well, not exactly for you to use on yourself," she explained.

Maggie was touched by the boyish joy that took possession of him. She hadn't known that Dana had bought a present for him and was as curious as he was. He loosened the ribbon and peeked inside the bag while her daughter couldn't keep an anticipatory smile off her face. He furrowed his brows, reached inside with one hand and pulled a piece of fabric out which turned out to be a onesie printed with...stars, planets and a UFO at the front.

Dana's smile widened, Fox's eyes widened, and Maggie held her breath.

"What happened to 'I don't want anything alien-related in my baby's room'?" he asked, astonishment written all over his face.

"I know I said that, but when I saw this piece at Bloomingdales I thought you might like it."

Maggie's heart almost burst. Those two were simply amazing. Fox complied to Dana's needs as a matter of course, keeping the nursery free from what such a huge part of his life was just because she didn't want it there. And Dana brought exactly this part into her baby's world because she knew how important it was to him. Two people, throwing off their darkest shadows in order to meet the other's deepest needs. It spoke of their utter devotion and infinite love for one another in a way it brought tears to an old woman's eyes.

Maggie found herself proven right, Fox wanted to be the baby's father not only the sperm donor. He had set up the changing unit, had fetched the Scully family crib from her house, was decorating the nursery in a way Dana liked, those were all signs of his desperate efforts to be there for her and the baby. Why he couldn't speak of the baby being his, she didn't know. It had to be some kind of PTSD he was struggling with after having come back from the dead. Well, who wouldn't be traumatized by an experience like that? She understood, and she knew Dana understood, and that was why she wasn't worried at all that these two wouldn't make it. They would sail this storm, Maggie was convinced. Their love was strong enough.

"This is from Bloomingdales? Haven't you checked out any of the fancy baby boutiques?" Mulder interrupted Maggie's contemplations, who chuckled. Scully put her hands up as if someone told her to freeze and implored, "don't ask!"

Fox looked at the garment in his hands. It was blue, had long sleeves and was printed all over with little phantasy planets and space crafts. There were solar systems and an accumulation of stars apparently representing the milky way. He smiled at the UFO on the front. For someone as accurate as Dana, who always insisted that science left no room for interpretation, it was remarkable that she had gotten such a variation of the scientific truth. Not to mention the fact that she had made more than clear she didn't want to have anything in the nursery that reminded her even remotely of their work: no drapes, no plush toys, no rugs, no bed sheets or blankets, and definitely no clothes that had anything to do with outer space or dark figures or even law enforcement. The Lone Gunmen had brought her a T-shirt with 'Baby Agent' on the front once when Maggie had been at Dana's apartment. They had seen it in a tourist gift shop next to the Hoover Building and had wrongly believed Dana would find it funny. She had thrown it wordlessly into the paper bag and had handed it back to them. 'I appreciate the idea, Frohike,' she had said, 'but I want the FBI out of my baby's life.'

The label at the onesie's neckline caught Fox's attention. Without looking up, he asked, "8 to 10 months? Isn't that a bit large for a newborn?"

"It definitely is, but that's the only size they had and the baby will grow into it," Dana explained, adapting the detached way he spoke of their unborn child.

"Does that mean you still want me to be around when the baby is eight months old?"

Maggie shivered because the question was by no means meant as a tease. She decided to leave them alone, to give them the privacy to talk about the obvious cracks in their relationship. But she stayed close, right there in the hallway. Not because her nosiness told her so but because she was worried what a passionate dispute might do to her heavily pregnant daughter.

"Yes, Mulder, I want you to be around eight months from now, and beyond that," Scully said in a voice full of warmth but also determination. Not visible from where Maggie was standing, she walked over to where Mulder had positioned himself next to the diaper changing unit he had assembled and took one of his hands in hers. "I want you to put this onesie on your child when he...or she...is old enough."

Mulder stroked his hair roughly with his free hand. "Scully..." he only said, probably at a loss for words.

"It's okay, Mulder. You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know that there isn't a 'me and you' but an 'us'. This is your child, Mulder, ours. We created this miracle you once told me to hope for, so whenever you're ready to be a part of this 'us', our baby and I will welcome you with open arms."

Maggie had to steady herself against the wall because her knees threatened to buckle hearing her daughter's emotional words. She peeked around the corner. She hoped to see them kiss or at least in an embrace but nothing of that sort was happening. They were gazing at each other, Dana held Fox's hand firmly in her grip not allowing him to withdraw from her. After a moment of inertia and wordlessness, he sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. "Scully, I-" he started but was sushed. Dana had her eyes closed, and Maggie saw how much she enjoyed the most intimate physical contact they had had for a long time. When they broke apart, Fox lifted her hand which still held on to his fiercely to his mouth and kissed it, holding her gaze.

Maggie was touched by the power of the moment. In her heart, an unshakable faith manifested itself that in eight months from now, when their son would be old enough to fit in the onesie Dana had bought for Fox today, they would look back on these difficult months as one more obstacle they had overcome together. Fox would throw his son up in the air, almost forgetting that he had ever doubted being able to be a father to this child. And when he would eventually put him to sleep in his crib, he and Dana would smile happily at a content baby boy smiling at his parents, dressed in an outer-space-themed onesie.

And all would be good.


	4. PEACH PUNCH

**PEACH PUNCH**

Margaret Scully was hurting.

She was hurting so badly even breathing was painful. As a mother, you were not supposed to bury your child. It wasn't the natural order of events that a mother had to say goodbye to her dead daughter, although it hadn't hit her totally unexpected. Over the last years, she had tried to brace herself for the worst and that had always been the not so unlikely possibility that her daughter had to go before her.

She hadn't expected it to happen to her older daughter though. When she had rushed to the ER a week ago, she had asked for Dana Scully's room and hadn't understood why they had been giving her the facts about Melissa's medical condition. It hadn't made any sense to Margaret that Melissa was the one lying in the hospital bed she had been looking at, tied to a respirator, her head bandaged and her heart beat recorded by a monitor. It had always been Dana she needed to worry about, not Melissa. Dana was the one with the dangerous job that exposed her to killers, not Melissa. Melissa was a dreamer who went to esoteric conventions and dealt with all kinds of mysticism, who met people who were a bit eccentric but otherwise harmless. How come she had been shot in the head by a cold blooded killer and not Dana?

It had taken Margaret a while before she had understood that the bullet that had eventually killed Melissa had actually been meant for Dana, that the killer had simply mistaken one sister for the other. The two Scully girls who couldn't have looked any more different, the only thing they shared was the color of their hair. Melissa was tall with long legs and a distinctive figure, whereas Dana was petite, her stature short and slim. How could someone be so dumb to mix them up?

The last days had been nothing but an ordeal for Margaret. She had held a vigil at Melissa's bedside, hadn't left her but for a quick shower at her house and some new clothes. She had prayed together with Albert Hosteen, who Dana had been sent to them because she had needed to hide from the people who wanted to kill her. At least Bill had been with her, although the foaming rage he had directed at Dana and her choice to join the FBI had been difficult to take at times. Margaret had needed consolation and support, playing the blame game hadn't been of any help. Not to her, not to Melissa, not even to Bill himself. Her thoughts had not only been with her older daughter who had been fighting for her life right in front of her eyes, but also with her younger daughter of whom she hadn't known the whereabouts. But she had pitied her for having to deal with her sister being shot in lieu of herself, disconnected from her family.

Margaret Scully was crying.

She was crying for the daughter she had lost, but also for the daughter who had been attending her sister's funeral absent-mindedly and completely frozen today. Fox had been at her side the whole time, compassion and worry etched on his face. Dana had refused to throw dirt at the grave and she had refused to accept the condolences granted to the family by the congregation or mourners. She had even refused to listen to Father McCue's words which had been meant to soothe her. She didn't want to be soothed. Dana felt guilty for her sister's death and undeserving of any other sentiment but reproach and contempt. So she was fighting against everyone who tried to make her feel better but let the guilt take complete possession of her instead. Margaret knew Dana felt so guilty, she would trade places with her sister without giving it a second thought if some divine - or diabolic - power offered her, and it only added to her motherly grief.

Family and friends were gathering at Margaret's house after the funeral to offer consolation but also to commemorate Melissa's life which had been too short. Margaret had prepared her late daughter's favorite food, music she had liked was coming from the stereo, and she had asked some people to say a few words, Dana being one of them, but she had declined. The sun was out and the temperature was very agreeable. A few people had gone outside and had gathered in small groups in the yard. They were speaking of Melissa, telling each other how they had met her or anecdotes from their lives with her, some of them peculiar or even funny. Onlookers might mistake the gathering in Margaret Scully's back yard for a joyful garden party because of the laughter that could be heard here and there and the people chatting with drinks and food in their hands. If only not all of them wore black and if only the closest family weren't so grief-stricken.

Maggie was shaking a lot of hands, was hugged and told many words of consolation. She had been so busy all day that she almost forgot how sad the cause for this reunion was. At some point, her best friend Martha dragged her out of the kitchen where she had been piling up muffins on a cake tray to serve to the funeral party. Martha shoved her into the living room where Dana was standing in front of the fireplace staring at the family pictures on the mantlepiece.

"She hasn't moved for half an hour now, Maggie," Martha said. "She's suffering like a dog. You have to talk to her."

Maggie sighed. "I know. She can't cope with it, is blaming herself. But she wouldn't talk to me."

"Try again, dear, and let me take charge of the muffins."

"Thank you, Martha."

Martha smiled compassionately at her friend before she turned around and headed back to the kitchen. Maggie walked over to where her daughter was standing, still petrified in front of the fireplace. She had an idea which picture she was looking at. There was one in a silver frame of Melissa and her as kids. Missy was eight years old, Dana had just turned seven. It had been taken at the end of a long day at the beach, the girls had been swimming and building sand castles the whole day. Dana's face was cluttered with freckles and Missy's nose was red from a sunburn. They were posing proudly in front of the structure they had built, a huge castle with towers and crenels, a moat and even a drawbridge. Missy had put her arm around her younger sister's shoulder and both smiled happily into the camera, showing the photographer their adorable tooth gaps. Maggie had always loved that picture, for one could see how close the girls were, how much they loved spending time with each other. They hadn't only been sisters but also best friends. No wonder Dana's pain was so intense.

Maggie grazed her daughter's shoulder softly not to startle her. "That's a wonderful picture of you," she said. "You can have it if you want to."

"It's yours, mom," Dana croaked without looking at her mother, "I can't take it away from you."

"You're not. I would be giving it to you."

"Your place is where it belongs, not mine. Mine is the place where she lost her life, I don't think she would've appreciated if I took her back there."

"It's a photograph, Dana. A beautiful one of Melissa and you you might want to take home as a reminiscence of your sister."

"To remind me every fucking day that I took her life?"

Maggie gasped at the curse word but now was neither the time nor the place to reprimand her adult daughter for using it. But there was something else she had to set right. "You did not take her life, the killer did. He took your sister's life in cold blood, you did nothing wrong."

"You have to understand, mom...this bullet was meant for me!" Dana was very upset now. She spoke through gritted teeth, clearly working hard to keep her voice down. She was spitting out every single word as if they tasted bitter. "I...am the one who should be lying in that coffin! Not Melissa!"

"And if that were so, Dana? Huh? Do you really believe I would be any less heartbroken over the loss of you than I am over the loss of your sister?"

"Melissa didn't deserve this."

Dana stared so intensely at her mother, drilling her eyes into her, that Maggie held her breath. "Neither would've you," she felt the urge to point out.

At this, Dana looked away from her, clearly fighting to keep the tears at bay. "I chose to be in that business, to put myself at risk. I didn't mean for her to be pulled into the danger I was dealing with and to get killed in the process."

"And you think I don't know that? You really believe I don't have any idea what's going on inside of you, Dana? That you're putting all the blame on yourself?"

Maggie so wanted to pull her into her arms, to cradle her and stroke her head. She was her little girl after all, although she was a grown-up woman. Right now she was a wounded wildcat caught in a trap lashing out at everybody trying to free her.

"If I had stayed. If I had only waited for her."

"Then he might have killed you both and I would be standing here today mourning two daughters."

"I shouldn't have gotten in the car with Skinner. He said we would pick her up on the way, but we didn't. She must've have taken a different route than usual or something."

Dana wasn't even listening to what Maggie was saying anymore. She had retreated into her own private courtroom and acted both as the defendant and the chief prosecutor. And she would also deliver the verdict on herself, a verdict which would be nothing else but 'guilty to all of the charges'.

"You couldn't have possibly foreseen all that! Dana, be reasonable and stop perverting the facts! The killer did that to your sister, not you!" Maggie appealed to her daughter. She could also be forceful if she wanted to. She knew exactly what Dana was doing. She was covering the unbearable pain over the loss of her sister with self-contempt. It hurt less to loathe herself than to endure the immeasurable grief and anguish.

"I can't forgive myself that I wasn't at her bedside when she died. I didn't even say goodbye to her."

"Dana, sweetheart, Fox told me that he kept you from coming to the hospital, that by staying away you granted her the only chance she had for survival. If you had shown up at her bedside, they would've killed her along with you, and probably also me. You sent Mr. Hosteen, and he was of great service to us. I'm sure your sister knew you thought of her and were with her through him and she must have loved the fact that you sent someone to practice his mystic powers on her. Please, Dana, don't let this beat you."

"But-"

"No buts!"

"But I miss her, mom." Dana's voice had taken a different ring now. It was brittle and thin all of a sudden, she was rather breathing the words instead of spitting them out like before. "I don't know how to live without her. For all my life, she's been there. How am I to live without my big sis?"

"We all have to learn, dear. None of us knows how to carry on without her yet."

Maggie saw how Dana was crumbling to pieces in front of her. Her chin started to tremble, her eyes filled with tears, and her face contorted into a painful grimace in her desperate efforts to somehow keep her composure. Maggie was overwhelmed by compassion for her younger daughter, she pitied her so much for having to go through this, so much she even forgot her own pain for a moment. She pulled Dana into a tight embrace, almost swallowing her tiny body. She let her cry her eyes out on her shoulder, held her shaking body and rocked her.

"You're not alone, Dana," Maggie implored. "I'm here for you. You've got your brothers. Tara." When Maggie noticed Mulder entering her field of vision, his eyes directed at his partner and full of sympathy, she whispered, "and you have a friend in Fox."

Hearing her co-worker's name, even though it was the one she hardly ever used on him herself, pulled Dana out of the intimacy with her mother. She cleared her throat and hastily brushed the tears from her face, so obviously embarrassed that it made Maggie pity her even more. Why didn't she want anyone to see she also could be vulnerable? When had she turned into a woman to whom asking for help was a sign of weakness? Fox seemed to be contemplating the same thing because he put his hand on her shoulder and reassured her, "it's okay, Scully, you don't need to put up a clean face for me. You've seen me in despair over the loss of my sister and the role I played in it, and now I'm seeing you. I know exactly how you feel." His mouth was so close to her ear, he almost kissed her.

A heart-wrenching sob escaped Dana's chest. She pulled away from her mother and threw herself into Fox's arms. She literally crawled into his embrace, rested her head on his broad chest and let him envelop her with his long arms. Maggie was touched by the scene. They were partners, co-workers, fellow agents, whatever you wanted to call them, but they cared for each other like best friends. Maybe, one day, they would become even more than friends, Maggie thought. Fox was a sensitive, caring, and decent man, despite what Bill thought of him. And he honestly cared for Dana, not only as his FBI partner but as a human being. He definitely was a person she would be glad to see her daughter being in a romantic relationship with. But those were hopes for another time, not for today.

"Take her home, Fox," Maggie told him.

"I don't want to go home," Dana hiccuped into his chest. "I can't be there."

"You can come to my place, Scully, and stay as long as you want. And if you don't want to return to your apartment ever, we find you a new place."

Dana looked at him, clearly surprised by the offer and furrowed her brows. "You don't have skimmed milk," she tried to reason. She sniffed, dabbing Fox's shirt with his black tie where she had wetted it with her tears. One could see that she liked the idea, needing only one more a little push before she gave up her resistance.

"We can get some on the way. But don't let yourself believe we will also get all those crazy fat-free, low-cholesterol potato chips you say you like although they taste like cardboard."

What a brilliant man, Maggie thought. How well he understood Dana. And she actually showed him a smile. A tiny, tight-lipped one, rather a smirk, but still, he had managed to pull her out of her mode of unrelenting self-flagellation. He would help her heal, of that Maggie was sure, and she could again tend to her own wounds.

She kissed Dana's hair and caressed her cheek, squeezed Fox's arm and threw him a grateful look. He nodded at her shortly, then put his hand on the small of Dana's back and nudged her forward. Maggie watched them leave her house before she turned around to get a bowl of peach punch out of her refrigerator.

Melissa had loved peach punch, and Margaret Scully had set her mind on proposing a toast to her late daughter with a glass of peach punch in her hand.


	5. CHOCOLATE COOKIES

**CHOCOLATE COOKIES**

The knock on the door was urgent and she instantly knew who it was. If she could only chase him away.

"Hello Mrs. Scully," he said to her, "is she here?"

"No," Maggie lied, but she had never been a good liar. Fox was probably able to look right through her.

"I need to see her."

"When I hear from her, I'll call you, okay?" she tried once more but it was of course useless. He already knew she was here. He pushed his way past her and stormed into the family room.

"Where is she?" he demanded to know.

Why hadn't he stayed away? He shouldn't be here. He didn't know how much he was putting himself in danger, but before she could even try to convince him to leave, Dana appeared from a dark corner of the room and was holding her partner at gunpoint.

"Put the gun down, Dana," Maggie implored although she knew it was for naught. Dana wasn't herself. Since she had shown up a few hours ago, she behaved like a chased and wounded animal. She was in a tailspin, that much Maggie understood, felt insecure and haunted by visions. She had been busy baking chocolate cookies for a charity sale when Dana had hammered against her door. She had spoken of being kept under surveillance, of being betrayed and having nobody she could trust. Maggie hadn't understood a word and hadn't been able to pin down what Dana meant.

And now she witnessed her daughter pointing a gun at her partner. It was a disturbing sight, almost surreal. The two of them used to be so close, nothing and nobody could come between them. Dana usually trusted Fox blindly, followed him wherever he summoned her to at whatever time of day or night. It had happened more than once that Dana had risen from the dinner table, letting the family know they had a case and she needed to go. And now she felt threatened by him. So badly that she aimed at him with a gun. Her eyes were full of terror, her whole demeanor a display of fear. She was out of her mind, almost hysteric even, there was no other way to describe it. Something must have happened to her and the way Fox was standing in front of her, tall and space-filling, determined, radiating concern for his partner with every fiber of his being, told Maggie that he had an idea what was wrong with her. It didn't change anything of the fact though that if Dana overreacted just a little, she would shoot him.

Maggie didn't know what to do. She decided to leave it to Fox. He must have made a plan on his way over, he would know what to do. Maybe she should have called him right away when Dana had shown up at her house like he had asked her to. But Dana had implored to tell nobody where she was. She had closed the drapes in the entire house, had pulled the telephone cord out of the wall, had searched every room for surveillance cameras and had finally placed herself on a chair in the middle of the family room with the gun on her lap, ready to shoot. Maggie had to admit that she was afraid of her, afraid of her own daughter.

"I'm here to help you, Scully," Fox said.

Of course. What else should he be here for? Ever since she had first met him, when Dana had been missing and they had feared for her life together, she knew Fox would move heaven and earth to help Dana. He had been stumbling around as if he was lacking a limb as long as she had been gone. And maybe that was exactly what he had been feeling, that without his partner at his side he wasn't whole. Now, this very same partner directed her weapon at him. The absurdity of it all was carried even further by the sweet scent of freshly baked home-made chocolate cookies wafting through the entire house.

"He's here to kill me, mom!" Dana yelled, the muzzle jiggling menacingly. But Fox stood there like a rock, not willing to let the situation intimidate him.

"I'm on your side, you know that. Listen to me, Scully. You don't know it, but you're sick with the same thing that drove those other people to murder."

He made a step forward. Maggie was impressed by how calm he seemed to be. She was a bundle of nerves, fearing the situation could go out of hand any second. If Dana was sick like Fox had said, if she was sick with something that drove her out of her mind and made her do things she would never do under normal circumstances, how could he be so self-assured? How could he know she wouldn't pull that trigger after all? And as if to further deepen Maggie's fears, Dana cocked the hammer.

Maggie had to do something. She knew there was only one person Dana trusted more than Fox, and that was she herself. So she stepped at Fox's side to back him up. "He's telling you the truth, Dana."

"It's not the truth, mom. He's lied to me from the beginning. He's never trusted me."

She hadn't reached her. Dana was still in her own world where she felt alone and menaced. Fox made another step forward. Maggie felt like holding him back. He still seemed to be convinced that Dana wouldn't shoot him, but Maggie wasn't so sure anymore.

"Scully, you're the only one I trust," he said calmly, not in the least acknowledging her mistrust in him.

Whatever he had in mind with his words and actions, it didn't work. Dana was about to cry and spat all kinds of accusations at him. That he was one of those who had abducted her, that he had put the chip in her neck to harm her, and to top it all, she accused him of having killed Melissa. Every single thing for itself was crazy but all of it together was simply ridiculous. If the situation wasn't on a razor's edge and if it wasn't obvious that Dana was dead serious, Maggie might have laughed. Fox would never do anything to harm her. Quite the contrary, he would cut his right arm off to prevent her from harm, and that was exactly why Maggie would do what she had just decided to do.

She stepped in front of Fox to get him out of the line of fire. Truth to be told, she couldn't shield him completely, she was way too small for it. Dana was a skilled shooter, if she aimed at his head, the bullet would find its target. But Maggie hoped that the simple fact that the gun was trained on her now might throw Dana off course, if even just for a brief moment. She had to seize that moment, it might be the only chance she would get.

"You trust me, don't you? You know that I would never hurt you, that I would never let anybody hurt you. That's why you came here, isn't it?" Maggie said, keeping her voice low and steady. She had to get the situation under control. When Dana would have come back to her senses and found out she shot Fox, maybe even killed him, it would destroy her.

Dana was fighting against the tears but kept the weapon pointed at her. She was mad at her that she had stepped in the way, motioned for her to clear the line of fire. Maggie forced a lump down her throat. If Dana really was so sick that she couldn't decide anymore what was real and what was not, that she couldn't tell right from wrong, an ally from an opponent, a friend from a foe, then they would all be in trouble.

But Dana's wall was cracking, Maggie could see it. Her daughter stared at her, her eyes wide and full of distress. One could tell that what had been guiding her to this point, whatever it was, was slowly losing its grip on her. Maggie knew what Dana looked like when her brain was working at full steam, and it definitely was working at full steam now. The confusion caused by the contradicting information flooding her synapses in their fight for the sovereignty was so very obvious. The poor girl didn't know what to believe anymore. Her core told her that something was wrong with how the situation had unfolded itself, that she shouldn't be aiming her weapon at the two people closest to her. Her innermost value system was still intact and it tried to tell her that both her partner and her mother were people she could trust.

Dana's subconscious knew that what her brain kept telling her didn't correspond with the truth, but her system was so full of adrenaline that she just couldn't escape the fight mode. One more step needed to be taken, and Maggie would have to be one taking it. She was Dana's mother, she was responsible for her and had to protect her. When push came to shove, it had to be the family stepping into the breach for one another. She knew Fox wouldn't hesitate a second and risk his own life just to rescue Dana, but Maggie couldn't let that happen. She felt responsible for both Dana's and Fox's well-being, she would have to solve this now.

She took another step toward Dana, the muzzle was almost touching her chest now. "Put it down. Put the gun down, Dana," she told her like she had explained to her how to handle a sharp knife as a kid - encouraging and full of trust in her daughter's abilities, calming and strengthening the girl's confidence. "Put it down," she repeated one more time, an unspoken 'you can do it' threaded in the tone of her voice and eventually Dana pointed her gun away. An immense wave of relief overwhelmed Maggie, not so much because of what could have happened to her, but for Fox's sake, who released the tension exhaling noisily behind her.

Dana fell into her mother's arms, breaking down completely. They were both sinking down until they kneeled on the floor. Dana's arms were drooping lifelessly and she cried. Fox approached them, took the gun out of her hand and uncocked the hammer. He put it on the dining room table, took a seat on one of the chairs and ran his fingers erratically through his hair. They had all fallen silent, the only sound filling the room was Dana's sobbing. And the delicious smell of cookies and chocolate was still there, now somewhat soothing.

"Shhhh," Maggie finally whispered, "it's alright, sweetheart. Nothing happened."

"I almost shot you, mom," Dana croaked.

"You would've never shot me. Come on up." They rose from the floor and Maggie guided Dana to the couch. She made her sit down, placed herself next to her and pulled her toward her putting her arm around her so that Dana could rest her head on her shoulder. "What are we going to do now, Fox?"

Hearing her partner's name seemed to remind Dana that he was also there. She looked at him with empty eyes, breathing, "I'm sorry I pointed my gun at you, Mulder."

"That wasn't you, Scully. We should get you checked out at a hospital. All those videos you were watching, they were sending out signals that have the capacity to turn one's fears into some kind of virtual reality. You were acting on what you believed was the reality, only that it wasn't real but just a fantasy."

"I would've shot you because of a fantasy?"

"Well, your mother would've eaten the bullet for me," he said, looking at Maggie. "I can't believe you did that, Mrs. Scully. I doubt my mother would step in front of me if I was held at gunpoint."

"Oh, I'm sure she would."

Fox chuckled bitterly, "I refuse to believe that, but my mother is not the person I want to talk about right now. It's you, Mrs. Scully. Which demons were riding you to throw yourself protectively in front of me?"

"No demons, Fox, human compassion. I didn't want you to get hurt, that's all. I know that Dana and you are very close and that quite likely she wouldn't have shot at you either, but I'm her mother. We were once connected physically by an umbilical cord and that's a very strong connection. I had faith in Dana's love for me, I knew that deep inside of her was this voice of reason that told her that I was nobody she had to fear. That's why she had come to me in the first place. When a child thinks they have nowhere to go, their mother is always the right person to ask for help."

"But why would you want to protect me? I'm not your child," Fox pointed out.

 _But I feel as if you were_ , Maggie would have wanted to say but was afraid she might overwhelm him. It was true though. She liked him dearly in a way she hadn't liked any of Dana's ex-boyfriends, and he wasn't even her boyfriend. "You're Dana's partner and her friend. My daughter's friends are also my friends. And friends look out for each other."

Now she had managed to overwhelm him after all. Maggie looked into a pair of hazel eyes so full of gratitude but also bewilderment as if he had never expected to be at the receiving end of her affection. "I...I don't know what to say," he muttered.

"There's nothing more to say. Everything is fine. You said we should take Dana to a hospital, maybe we should do that now."

"My car is parked outside. I'm afraid I hit your fence when I pulled over earlier. I was a bit tense." He cleared his throat.

Maggie laughed. "Oh Fox, my fence is the least of my worries right now. I'm more concerned about my cookies, to be honest. It took me all day to bake them and I need to have them ready by tomorrow morning for the charity cookie sale at our church. Would you do me a favor and put them into the boxes on the kitchen counter before we leave? I'd like to remain on the couch with Dana."

Fox smiled at her. "Of course, Mrs. Scully, no problem."

He had risen from the chair and was already on his way following the scent to the kitchen. "Oh, and Fox," she shouted after him.

"Yes?"

"Please call me Maggie."


	6. APPLE CRUMBLE

**APPLE CRUMBLE**

"Hey Starbuck, have you decided which offer you want to take yet? I heard Johns Hopkins is interested."

Bill Scully, Sr. had just swallowed the last piece of roast. He was dabbing the corners of his mouth with a napkin and popped the question casually at his younger daughter who instantly stopped chewing. His wife sucked in her breath. Maggie somehow knew this wasn't a good after dinner topic. Dana had been avoiding to talk about what to do after her graduation from medical school lately whereas Ahab had hardly been talking about anything else.

Maggie knew he loved all his children but Dana had always been his favorite. Since the day she was born, she had been the apple of his eye. It had put her at the receiving end of his fatherly affection like none of her siblings but it had also put a lot of pressure on the girl to cope with. When she had been admitted to medical school, Maggie had seen her husband almost burst out of pride, Dana Katherine Scully, M.D. sounded like a melody in his ears. Therefore failing or, God forbid, dropping out hadn't been an option for Dana. It had turned her into an ambitious, tenacious, and determined young woman with an incredible amount of stamina who would do anything to not disappoint her daddy. To her mother's dismay, enjoying life had fallen a bit by the wayside in the process. Well, her older sister and younger brother had compensated for it more than enough.

Dana was putting the cutlery down in slow motion, then dabbed her lips thoroughly. She squinted her left eye for a brief moment and looked at her father.

"You heard? From whom?"

Maggie noticed a sensitive undertone in Dana's voice, her husband obviously missed because he continued unwaveringly.

"Daniel told me."

"How did you get around talking about me with my boyfriend?"

Dana was tensing up noticeably. Maggie held her breath.

"He's as interested in your career as I am. Your move into the medical field needs to be well considered, and Daniel says Boston is offering the best opportunity for you to go into cardiology."

"Oh? Daniel says? I see." Dana chewed the inside of her cheek before she asked tight-lipped, "do I get a say in this, dad, or have Daniel and you already submitted my application?"

Bill's eyes widened at his daughter's harsh and open irony. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dana let out an annoyed chuckle. "Does it even occur to you that I might have other plans?"

"You're not talking about that crazy FBI idea, are you? That's absolutely out of the question!"

Bill shook his head. Ever since Dana had first mentioned that she had been approached by an FBI recruiter, he refused to even talk about it, always wiping the topic away with a dismissive wave of his hand, just like he was doing now.

"Bill, please," Maggie cut in as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

The family dinner which had started out so nice and enjoyable was at the brink of turning into a veritable family argument. They hadn't been together like this for quite a while because the final exams of med school had accounted for all of Dana's free time. Now that all the tests - written, practical, and oral - were taken and they were waiting for the results, doubting not even for a nanosecond that her marks would be anything but excellent, their daughter finally allowed herself to spend an evening away from her textbooks at her parents' house.

"It's my life we're talking about here, dad, and not that many graduates get recruited right out of medical school by the FBI. I would get the chance to specialize in forensic pathology and might be teaching at the Academy later on. That's really something I can see myself in."

Maggie noticed how Dana's tensed-up body posture relaxed a bit, how exhilaration took over. It showed clearly how excited she was about this. Unfortunately, her husband wasn't this sensitive, for he exclaimed indignantly, "pathology? A medical doctor saves lives and does not cut open dead people who can't be helped anymore. It's stupid!"

"Stupid? Pathology is a medical specialty like any other. It isn't about some morbid slicing and dicing, it's about getting to the bottom of why and how a person died. It's science. Forensic pathology is a substantial part of solving criminal cases and convicting murderers. I would be saving lives by keeping potential victims from harm by killers that I helped to put behind bars."

Dana's passionate advocacy of forensic pathology didn't impress Ahab one bit. He didn't seem to listen to her at all actually, Maggie noticed. Instead, he was pulling another ace from his sleeve; or so he thought.

"You really want to be a Fed, Dana? Lowsy pay and small reputation included?"

"This is what this is actually all about, isn't it? Pay and reputation." It wasn't meant as a question. "Your daughter being an underpaid federal agent wouldn't be anything you'd be comfortable talking about in your old boys' circle, would it? Your offspring performing open heart surgery though would be something else, something you wouldn't hesitate a second to let your friends know. Right, Dad?"

Ahab took a step backward. Was he perhaps impressed in some way by Dana's accusatory tone, Maggie marveled. There was a kernel of truth in it somewhere, for sure. Her husband had always loved letting his environment know how well his beloved Starbuck was doing. Dana had hit a blind spot with her angry words, she read from the change in Bill's whole demeanor and facial features. He had not only taken a step away from his daughter, not towering her anymore, but his whole body posture collapsed. His arms, which he had been fidgeting with, were hanging limply all of a sudden, his chin, which had been lifted challengingly, had sunken to his chest, and his eyes, which had been boring through Dana's just a moment ago, were avoiding hers now. He gritted his teeth so hard his jaw pushed through visibly. Maggie had very rarely seen her husband searching for words; this was one of the times.

"It's just...Daniel...well, he says you're really good at it and that you'd have a bright future in cardiology," he eventually tried to defend himself, but Dana didn't want to hear any of it.

"Daniel? Daniel says? And what Daniel says is necessarily right? You don't trust me to make my own choice? To know what's good for me?"

Ahab tried to fend off the accusations he had been showered with a feeble, "you're getting it all wrong, Dana." Maggie almost felt like stepping up and pairing with him to form a consistent parental entity. It was what they had always done when serious arguments with their children occurred, she was wondering why she was somehow reluctant to do so now. Before she got to the bottom of the motivation, or rather lack thereof, Dana's voice filled the room again.

"I don't think I'm getting anything wrong here! It's so typical for men to believe they are to make choices for us women. I mean, did mom ever had a say in whether she wanted to pursue her career after you got married?"

Maggie's heart skipped a beat and she realized that her daughter was unconsciously rubbing her nose into what was keeping her from backing her husband up in this matter.

"Your mother knew what it meant to be a Navy wife," Bill said without even looking at her as if the woman he was talking about wasn't in the same room standing just a few inches away from him.

"That does not mean she wouldn't have liked to keep working. She loved being a teacher, didn't you, mom?" Dana exclaimed, her glaring eyes meeting her mother's.

"I, uh-," Maggie started but was interrupted instantly by her husband.

"She was happy to be a housewife and mother."

"You didn't even let her answer herself just now, for Christ's sake! Was she allowed to have an opinion of her own back then? Did you even ask her or agreed upon what was good for her together with grandpa, just like you are doing for me right now with Daniel?"

Without even taking another breath Dana turned to Maggie and implored, "mom! Don't you have anything to say to this?"

"Watch your mouth, young lady! I am not to be spoken to in this tone by any of my children. And neither is your mother." Ahab's words came out of his mouth like shots out of a machine gun. Sharp, cold, deadly, but Dana would not let herself get intimidated.

"I'm an adult, dad! I'm not a kid anymore you can force to take piano lessons just so she can play Mozart to your party guests for their entertainment and your sick fatherly pride."

"How dare you-"

"Stop it! Now! Both of you!"

Maggie had been listening to what was being said about her with a mixture of shock, anger, and regret until she drowned the gamecocks in a high-pitched voice. She knew that if they went on, they would be saying something they regretted later. They had never been in an argument like this, mainly because Dana had always been a child trying to please her father, always wanting to make him proud of her. These times seemed to have come to an end. She was obviously ready to disobey his wishes, and Maggie secretly believed that it actually wasn't such a bad thing. Even though she herself had been pulled into their fight, she knew that right now was not the time to voice her own feelings about the whole FBI matter. Right now she had to protect father and daughter from getting themselves into a rage and saying something so hurtful the wounds left behind would be difficult to heal. Ahab and Starbuck had always been so close, if they tore themselves asunder over this, it would break both of their hearts; and Maggie's own heart along with it.

Both were staring at her, flabbergasted by her temperamental, forceful outburst. They weren't used to her speaking up, reining people in so openly. She usually tried to appease, to sugarcoat cracks and to smooth out disagreements within the family. "Don't look at me like this!" she said. "Did you even realize how you were yelling at each other? This is not how we talk to each other in this family!"

Maggie had a distinct need for harmony and every family member relied on it. No matter how severe the dispute was, everybody knew she would later arbitrate between the parties and make them reconcile again. Throughout her married life, she'd played the mediator between her husband and his children as well as between the siblings many times, had always tried to be impartial, to not take one side but make them see the other's point of view, to understand each other. It had always worked best like this. Until today. Today she would leave her neutral position and speak up for the person she believed had a reason.

"Dana is right, Bill," she said and was surprised about how easily the words were leaving her mouth.

"What?" her husband retorted, apparently dumbfounded by the statement which was so openly in conflict with his own opinion on this matter.

"What?" Dana whispered, equally caught off-guard like her father but in a more positive way.

"She's right. It's her choice to make, not ours."

Here she was again, Margaret Scully, a loyal wife to her husband, joining him as a parent by calling it their choice when as a matter-of-fact it had been just his. It was fair enough though, to not push him in the corner and blame him alone because if she was honest, she would have to admit that she was also not fond of her daughter's idea to join the FBI, but for totally different reasons.

Ahab's face turned red, anger creeping through his body. "What's going on in your minds, you Scully women? Very well, then," he spat but knew better than to start another argument with his wife now. He let out an exasperated huff, turned on his heel, and took a beer out of the refrigerator and mumbled under his breath, "I'm outside."

"Great," Dana hissed right after the porch door had been closed with a loud 'bang' seconds later, "now he's mad at me _and_ you."

"That's alright, sweetheart. He's going to calm down again. We let him have his beer and give him time to think."

"I'm a disappointment for him because I'm not taking the career path he wants me to."

Maggie gasped. It hurt to see Dana being so hard on herself. Children weren't determined to fulfill their parents' dreams, they should aspire their very own goals.

"It's your life, Dana. You have to decide on your own. You've already signed the contract, haven't you?"

"No, but I really want to do this, mom."

"Yes, I can see your determination, but I always thought it was medicine you wanted to work in."

"I've never given anything else much thought until the FBI approached me."

"What is it with law enforcement that interests you so much?"

"It's not law enforcement per se but the opportunity to specialize in pathology. That's science, mom. Searching for the cause of death in a dead body is scientific work. It will challenge my intellect in many more ways than doing one heart catheter investigation after another. You remember that I wrote my undergraduate thesis about Einstein, don't you? If dad hadn't pressured me into medicine, I might've as well graduated in physics. I love science, mom."

"I know you do, but all this time you spent in medical school...you worked so hard for your degree, sweetheart. Are you willing to throw this all away?"

"I'm not throwing it away. A pathologist is a medical doctor like any other, and if I find out that the FBI is nothing for me, I can start as a resident at a hospital in cardiology or pediatrics any time. Johns Hopkins won't give me another chance probably but there are enough renowned hospitals in America." She looked at her mother with tears in her eyes, searching for some understanding. "I really want to give this a try, mom."

"You've already made up your mind," Maggie realized.

"Yes. I have an appointment with HR at the FBI headquarters this week. Field training will start next month."

Maggie tensed up. "You're going to be out in the field?"

"It's not intended. I get trained in forensic pathology and will work in the morgue and the lab mainly. Any time later, I might also be teaching at Quantico."

"Not intended? Does that mean it might happen nonetheless? That you have to go out into the field to track down criminals?"

"Mom, it's the FBI after all. I mean, it's part of the training and I have to do what I'm assigned to. If they need my expertise out in the field one day, I might be partnered up with someone. You know how it works in a federal institution, people are not asked but ordered."

Yes, being married to a naval captain, Maggie knew how it worked. Her family had been ordered to relocate to a different Navy base on short notice more than once, and her husband had been commandeered to dangerous missions around the globe never ever taking into consideration whether his wife was pregnant or his children had just made new friends at school. She also knew what it was like to worry about a beloved one on a daily basis, how to cope with the constant fear that something might happen to them. Maggie knew all of this and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to get through it once again. When Ahab had eventually retired from active military service and started working behind a desk, assuming a consulting role at the base, it had taken months until she had learned to not expect a compassionate Navy officer tell her something happened to her husband behind every nightly ring of the phone or urgent knock at the door. And now it would start all over again. How she wished her daughter would spare her dealing with this kind of fear.

She was fearing for Bill, Jr. already, her oldest son, who had followed his father's footsteps into the Navy. But he was tall and strong. A man. Dana was so small and fragile. Not any less fierce than her older brother, probably even more tenacious than he, but wouldn't she easily be outrun and overpowered by a muscled male criminal? Wouldn't she be bullied as a woman in a male-dominated environment? Maggie knew the FBI was as much an old boys' club as the Navy. Her daughter would have to fight herself through the system day in and day out. What a tough path she was choosing for herself.

Maggie sighed quietly but wouldn't voice her inhibitions. She would swallow her fears down and would resist the temptation to ask Dana to stay in the medical field just so her mother would be able to sleep more peacefully. Her daughter had every right to do whatever she wanted. It was her life, her career, her choice, and in a way she admired her guts. She would stand up to any man who underestimated her like she had stood up to her father today. Who would have thought that the tiny rosy bundle she had held prematurely in her arms all those years ago after a complicated pregnancy and difficult childbirth would grow up to become such a powerful and strong personality.

"I'm so proud of you, Dana," Maggie said, working hard though to mask her underlying worries.

"Thanks, mom, but you're the only one I'm afraid. Dad's never going to accept it."

"Don't underestimate your father. Give him some time to get used to the idea."

Dana shook her head. "Let's face it, he's disappointed in me."

"You have to go on your own way, Dana, not on the one your father wants to see you on. He will understand eventually."

"Do you really think so?"

"He's your father, and he loves you no matter what."

Maggie was sure of it. His love for his daughter was infinite. One day he would be able to swallow down his pride and see Dana's choice for what it was, an autonomous decision by his grown-up daughter. Something else was on Maggie's mind though. Her father wasn't the only dominant male figure in Dana's life.

"What's Daniel's reaction to your decision?"

Dana looked away. It took her a moment until she answered her mother. "I'm going to break up with him, mom."

"Oh. Because of this?"

"No...yes...well, I guess it's the straw that broke the camel's back. He's been so patronizing lately. He's not only planned my residency but has also more or less outlined my whole career after that. Can you imagine? I mean, who does he think he is that he acts like my goddamn guardian?"

A wave of relief was rolling over Maggie. She'd always thought that Dana's relationship with Daniel was not sufficiently based on equality although she had never mentioned anything to Dana, Dana was old enough to decide who she dated.

Daniel was Dana's teacher in medical school. He was an accomplished man, married, which bugged Maggie in particular. Not because she saw Dana as an adulteress - it had been the man's own decision to leave his wife and teenage daughter to get involved with one of his students - but because he used her, bathed himself in how she looked up to him. He enjoyed the role of her mentor, both in the medical field as in how to lead her life. Of course, he wanted her to do her residency under his wings in his hospital. It would give him the perfect opportunity to guard her furthermore, to mold her into what he saw in her.

A clear cut was maybe for the best. A completely clean slate. Another professional environment, another city, another man eventually. Maggie would hate to see her independent-minded, self-assured, and autonomous daughter permanently with someone who didn't treat her as an equal. There had to be men out there who saw her inner height and didn't mistake her for a little girl just because she was petite. But Maggie also knew that Dana loved Daniel, that she had thought not long ago she would share her entire life with him. Breaking up wouldn't be easy.

"I better get going, mom. I don't think dad is coming back inside as long as I'm here."

"But what about dessert? I made your favorite." Even if it was a bit silly to believe there was even the slightest chance the three of them would sit at the table together having dessert, Maggie tried.

"Apple crumble with vanilla sauce and whipped cream?"

"Uh huh," Maggie confirmed.

She had even made the vanilla sauce herself this time. She hadn't done that in a while because of the time-consuming work involved, but the ones you could buy consisted more of sugar and artificial flavor than real bourbon vanilla, and that was what Ahab and Dana liked the most.

"Especially for your father and you."

"You're the best, mom." Dana flew into her arms and hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry I ruined the evening, but I had to tell dad sooner or later. As much as I love your apple crumble, I lost my appetite. I don't think I can get anything down now."

"Take some home, dear. You can have it later, or tomorrow. I made it this morning, it'll persist a few days."

Dana gifted her one of her warm, genuine smiles.

"I'd love to."

After Dana had said her goodbye with two Tupperware boxes in her hand and the front door closed shut behind her, Maggie stepped through the screen door out on the patio behind the house. Ahab was sitting in one of the deckchairs. His eyes were closed but he wasn't sleeping. There was an empty beer bottle on the floor and one half-full in his hand. He put it to his mouth and took a swig.

"Has she left?" he asked without opening his eyes.

"Yes. She told me to say goodbye."

He chuckled condescendingly. "There were times she gave me a hug before she left."

"Well, you didn't really make the impression you wanted to be hugged tonight."

He snorted, sat upright, put the bottle to his lips and emptied it in one gulp.

"Shall I get you another one?"

"Are you trying to appease after having stabbed me in the back?"

"I haven't stabbed you in the back, Bill. I just spoke out what I thought was right."

"It's not right that she throws away her medical degree and goes into law enforcement instead. The FBI, for heaven's sake, Maggie! She'll spend her time in a dull governmental building behind a utilitarian desk. She'll have to fight with the audit department over expenses more than she'll take criminals into custody. She'll waste years accomplishing nothing until she realizes she made a mistake." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe the money we paid for medical school was all for naught."

"Haven't you listened at all? She told us that she would specialize in forensic pathology."

"She could be a heart surgeon but wants to become a pathologist? That doesn't make any sense! Why doesn't she see what Daniel is offering her?"

"He might actually be part of the problem."

"Huh?"

"Daniel is part of the problem, Bill," Maggie repeated with more emphasis. "Can't you see that Dana wants to stand on her own two feet? That she wants neither her father nor her partner to tell her what career path to choose? Is that really so hard for you to understand? She wants to make her own decisions."

"You mean she's doing this to get one over on me?"

Maggie sighed. "No, Bill, this has nothing to do with you. Or Daniel. That's exactly the point."

Bill shook his head and put the bottle to his lips to take another swig. Realizing it was empty, he snorted. After contemplating for a moment, he popped a question which had obviously been bothering him for the time he had been out on the patio.

"Uhm...Maggie...what Dana said..."

"Yes, dear?" she said warmly. She had an idea of what was on his mind. They had never spoken about it, not even once since they were married, and she found it ironic in a way that one of their kids had to bring the topic up.

"What she said about you...uh, you giving up teaching," Ahab continued stammering.

"Yes?"

"Would you have rather continued working? Instead of...I mean..."

"Being there for you and the kids?" she completed his thought and added with a smile, "no."

"Hmm," he grunted apparently not fully convinced.

"Times were different then, Ahab. Today, it might have been possible for me to be a teacher and a housewife and mother, but not back then. You were right when you said that I knew what it would be like to be a Navy wife, and I chose to be one. I loved you, and I wanted to have children with you."

"Did you ever..." Instead of finishing the sentence he bit his lower lip.

"Regret it? No. Not a single day."

"Hmm," Bill gruntled again, staring at the empty beer bottle in his hands, peeling the label off. "Why does Dana have to be so stubborn?"

"Oh, Bill," Maggie laughed good-naturedly, "because we raised her to be an emancipated woman with an independent mind and a strong will. When has Dana ever been inconsiderate or unreasonable? Huh, Bill? I'm sure she's given this much thought, and I'm also sure that the feeling she's disappointing you is hard for her to handle. She adores you, Ahab."

"Weird way of showing me," he mumbled, softening a bit. His shoulders, which had been tense were slowly descending, his brows returned to their original spots, and the wrinkles on his forehead were fading. He breathed in deeply and let the tension flow out of his body with a prolonged exhale.

Maggie seized the moment to go for his soft spot again. "She's still your Starbuck."

His special nickname for her, being the only person allowed to call her like that, never missed having an effect on him. He was relenting even more.

"Yes, sure. Of course, she is."

Maggie took the empty bottle out of her husband's hand and put it on the floor next to the other. She pushed the second deckchair right beside his, placed herself in it, and intertwined her fingers with his. After a while, she asked, "are you ready for some apple crumble for dessert?"

"You made apple crumble?"

"It's Dana's and your favorite. The plan was to spoil you a bit tonight."

"Did you buy that sugar-sweet sauce again?"

"No, I made it myself. Following your mother's recipe."

Bill Scully smiled lovingly at his wife and squeezed her hand tenderly. He pulled it up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on its back. "I don't deserve you. I'm sorry the evening turned out like this. I know how much you like to have your children around. They drop by seldom enough."

"It's okay, darling. You said what you had to say. Just don't be too strict with her. She's doing what she feels is right. She's not doing it to purposely contradict you."

Bill left it at that for a moment. "I can't believe the money we spent on medical school," he said again and groaned.

"Well, you never know, Ahab. Dana will be a medical doctor, one way or another, and who knows what the FBI has in store for her. She might become the Bureau's first female director," she said with a smile.

He let that sink in for a moment, and although the fact that his daughter would not become a heart surgeon was still bugging him, this new idea soothed him a little. Maggie could imagine what was going on in his mind. If there was a woman capable of achieving this seemingly unreachable position for a female, it would have to be his Starbuck.

"You did give her some dessert to take home, right? She loves your apple crumble."

"Sure." Maggie smiled.

Despite all the grievances Ahab had aired this evening, he cared very much for Dana. Inside the strict Navy captain was a devoted father; devoted to all his children but particularly to his younger daughter. And even if it seemed to Dana that he had been a dominant husband, having pressured her into a life as a housewife and mother, it had been her own wish to be this exactly, a supporting wife to her husband and a loving mother to her children. Maggie knew Bill treasured her, that he had never even thought of anyone else but her to share his life with. He had always been a loyal husband and family man, and she had relied on him to provide for her and the kids in return. She never had the feeling she had missed or lost anything because she had once decided to marry him. On the contrary, he had given her four wonderful children and a sheltered life. For that, she was infinitely thankful.

She loved him.


End file.
